Retardation '

My family are retarded , its not fair .
Most of my life is filled with Anger , Hate , Sadnesss..i do have to admit. .. My family hardly encourages me , even when they do , its in a highly obvious sarcastic way .
All they do is look at the dull and bad side of me , and my father "tries"to say some positive statments just to show that he is a "good" parent . and those positive statements are bullcrap...for example...he says im good at building things , while i cant even assemble my own lego toys ....and they say im negative....they are the reason im negative , they are the reason im always alone in school , they are the reason i have not much friends , they are the reason that im slowly becoming a hermit ....if it wasnt for the internet , i would not have changed church...right now i am still very confused about the Protestant vs Roman Catholicsm....My old church is methodist which somehow is in the list of protestant churches , however every week we have to say the apostle's creed which one line says : I believe in the Holy Catholic Church ....I am very confused.....

Helping my parents and family out has no benefits , i am a dog in my house... i cant wait man.... i must and i am determined to get high results and one day leaving them in the dust and not remembering them anymore....

Everytime someone does something around me in public i will feel that its embarrasing....i thank my dad for that....He thinks hes the only one that can get pissed off and explode , hes the only one that can judge others , and lastly hes most ironic speech : Nobody is perfect , but sometimes even if your right you make it wrong.... , he says that right after judging me kao kao . Everytim he argues , he uses that speech , he doesnt know how to use a logical arguement , when i say something bad about him , he says : you arrr , you want me to slap you right now ?...come lar.... slap me , see how i counter it .

Today sucked , i played off form with phantom lancer in dota today , and my good friend wei xian wont stop scolding me....watever i do is making the team lose....hes a good friend lar...but playing dota with him is scary....really really scary....DoTa isnt a game with him anymore...seriously ..its more like doing homework...theres only 1 correct thing to do....

Later , played pudge wars with jason tiek yi and nicholas....Jason suicided and missed me and tiek yi ....he kept on calling me and arsehole after that....



And my dad keeps saying im addicted to the comp , while i want to start a new hobby which is : R/C cars or Airsofting.... which he both thinks im still a little kid.... Fish him larhxx


However i am thankfull , there are actually more-than-friendly people out there ... even my parents call me a nerd... most people including some "Friends " call me one too... but then i met people ... like wei xian and her .... straight saying : i dont think your a nerd.... it may not sound so much to you guys , but to me alot...

i am very sad today....