Family .

My Grandmother , the most annoying person sometimes , she's the whole reason my whole family loves to gossip , her logic is like this : Say in their faces cannot , very rude , say behind their back , can , common sense . Authority always right , you always wrong . I can curse people , people cannot curse me . Australia people fine us , for doing wrong thing , we just talk bad about them in Malaysia .



How long will i have to put up with this nonsense ? My mother can care about my little cousins so much that she would run outside shouting out their names just to see them , and me ? " GO WALK URSELF LA !" When I need transport to school .

My father always explodes if he losses in an logical-debate , he cannot lose , if he does , explode . He thinks that only he can get angry , while the others cant . He thinks that starring at girls is "NATURAL" While I see it really differently .



I'm really gonna show my true self to them one of these days , for all my life I was just a little boy getting punished by my parents , even if they're in the wrong . I'm the only one in my "Family" that dares to stand up what I think is right .

One of these days , I'm just gonna throw a chair at one of them , I'm always the one who gets picked on , all my sister has to do to get anything is by crying , It's amazing how I get shouted at for expressing my views , and she gets away with having a boyfriend , and taking pictures of them touching each other , just by crying .

I don't want to be like them . . . They're friends hate them , relatives look down on them , and because of them , people hate me .

I want and must excel for my PMR , to prove that I'm not dumb , as my parents put it "You are the technical type , your sister better than you at study" It's amazing how they judge , when they only see us 2 hours a day .

Nothing is calming me down now , I tried praying , but I don't think it was sincere , I tried listening to music , looking in the bright side . . .What will calm this storm in me ?


God , I know you're there , your telling me something , something...that I have been too blind to see . I'm so lost , but because of my family blood errors , I don't have a shoulder to cry on ....


I'm so angry and hateful . . . Walking to IO day tomorrow ...


And people who read this , If you hate me / despise me because of this post , go away then , this is the real me .

If you really cared , you wouldn't go :" Hey are you ok ?" Because you know the answer very well .