Sick and tired .

I'm sick . Literally and figuratively .

Running nose + A sore throat .

Sigh .


Have you ever been so sick of a particular hurting moments that keeps on happening over and over again and no matter what... You're never getting used to it .

Well that's me .


Every single darn time , I know for a fact that it was going to happen , and yet...


But still , I have to hold fast . . .

It wouldn't have hurt so much if I always remembered that I had a God who give and takes away , and he is the Lord , so I should be still .

This same thing happened to me over and over again , but everytime it repeats , I react differently to it compared to the past . . .

Sigh .

I got two days of Dota , then no more internet until PMR is over .

Dota was one of my only ways to get over these sort of things...But it's just different without Gavin or Marn Keong . . .

I'm filling myself with hatred when I play just to overcome depression . And that ins't something very nice .


Amazing isn't it ? How people can hurt you so easily , and badly , just by saying a few words that you weren't meant to hear ... and the worst part is...They didn't know what it did to your feelings too.


Okay , so I'm done dotaing with Gavin .

Two games , both won because of awesome teammates .

I was just so distracted and rusty that I actually casted reaper's scythe on an Akasha who only had 5% of her life gone , sheesh . For those who don't know , it's one of the stupid-est , dumbest move to do in Dota , you should've heard Gavin over the mike , he was like "Tuuut Tuuuut TuuuT" .

But still , it was 2 hours gameplay without thinking about that...thing.

Hide me now , under your wings .

I'll smile through the storm this time :)

I've tried making you smile . But I don't feel like being your friend anymore . . . I am not worthy .