It's your love .

I'm back from camp and as Emo as ever .

The first day of camp saw me bringing my guitar out of the house for the first time other than for learning purposes . Met up with a few friends , and then left for Genting .

Me , Li Yen , Yi Shien and Rachel Law were cracking jokes all the way on the bus .

We arrived there and were divided into our groups .

Funnily enough , me and Yi Shien were divided into the same group , Grissini , me being the AGL . While Rachel and Li Yen were separated into another same group too , also , the winning group , with Li Yen at the helm , good job girls .

So after some games , we proceeded into the first session by Pastor Daniel Tan of SIB KL .

And I've got to admit , my first impressions on him weren't the best .

Okay so the first sermon was about Barthimaes , a blind beggar who was desperate to see , somehow Jesus came and healed him even when the crowd asked him to shush .

The pastor also shared about his experiences of a broken home , which I respect to be true , but some other events... not really .

What I got from that night's sermon was about pride . That's right , when Barth. threw off his cloak and looked for Jesus (The cloak being one of the only things a beggar would have) . This cloak apparently relates to us as pride . Pride is indeed something very "Zho Deng" . And the only thing that rang throughout my mind when the Pastor was calling for a show of hands on who wanted to accept Christ that night , was this ; Throw it off Declan , throw it off .

Second day , I went for the morning prayer and worship session , was worth losing 1 hour of my sleep . The afternoon Sermon was about fear , and how the only fear we should have is the fear of the lord . Now after that people were telling me that now I have no excuse for not playing the guitar for candlelight ... Later on was games , it wasn't really properly organizes , but they did their best , since some complications surfaced ... Then it was time for the last night , we all would refer to this as the night of epic healing , where you see people cry and etc. I wasn't really comfortable with this at first , I almost thought that this was so predictable of people to do and stuff , but little did I realize..

So the 3rd sermon was about Jesus Freaks . During the session , I thought I was one , I thought that I loved Jesus and took religion seriously . But little did I realize , when the Pastor showed us clips and recollections of modern day Martyrs and how their family testified even after tragedy hit them hard . If that wasn't enough , the Pastor listed out three points for identifying a Jesus freak . I'm not going to talk about all three , except one very special one : Purposed to Honor God .

That might seem small now does it ? But the Pastor pressed on ... He blasted us there and then , about how we would criticize our government for being corrupt , for being law breakers , WHEN WE HAVE NO RIGHT TO DO SO AS CHRISTIANS .

That would sound harsh now would it ? I mean yeah , we have to respect authority , Jesus himself said that ... But these people are stealing from us , have we not the right to rebel against them ?

Okay here's the thing , when you speed past a red light , you're breaking the law , therefore , dubbing you a law-breaker . And not just that , I mean we all break the law right ? But most of us think that it's "okay" to do so already , and then he brought up Piracy , something most of us are guilty of and what hit me really hard is that...

For months I've been trying to understand my faith in the eyes of reason and I thought it was hard to be reasonable with the Bible , but it hit me hard when Pastor brought piracy up . Why ? Because I know myself that I'm dealing with a God who says that if you hate someone , you're already committing murder , and yet I still take piracy so lightly like a grey spot . The fact that it's against the law means that it's against the law !

The amount of reason in that is just undeniable , I've been using false reasoning to my own gain most of the time...Oh what a fool I was for trying to understand an infinite mind with a finite mind ...

To me especially , whom God somehow gave an extreme amount of curiosity to , he just shouted at me last night , it was like :"You KNEW so much about me already , but all you were ever interested in were arguments to prove my existence , but you don't even bother about my teachings , and you go against it over and over again , YOU KNEW what some people didn't , and yet you acted like you didn't...."

I felt pathetic , but that reminded me once again , that I'm just another wretched sinner like everyone else , saved by perfect savior ... I really thanked the Lord for that night of conviction.

And then Candlelight . I didn't play . Just when I was at the backroom taking out my guitar from it's case , Melvin Goh Who's leading the Candlelight didn't have a guitar , so why not let the pro handle it ?

Candlelight was awesome as usual , and then we all went back to bed ...

Earlier this morning , was the last sermon , when our schedule was so messed up...
The sermon went on...
It was about evangelizing and about our callings , and that we again , have no excuse to say that we have no time and resources to do so .
I think I have an idea of where my calling is right now... but you know , I already see my enemies crushing me , I already see how hard this path is gonna be .... But if it's his will...Then let it be done . (No , it's nothing to do with martyrdom)

Camp was overall ... Good . It could've been better if some kids knew how to behave and that it was better scheduled , but overall , Karina and her team did a wonderful job . I liked especially , how Karina and the others who weren't involved in a particular worship session would pray and sing outside the hall while practice was going on and they prayed hard for Christ to be revealed to the lot of us .

For me , I wouldn't say that I SAW him or anything , but I do think that he did speak to me .

One of the biggest things I've learned , not just from camp , is that God responds to faith . He doesn't just go (Unless in some rare occasion e.g. Paul/Saul) up to someone and SHOWS him the way ...

Finally , here are some shoutouts to the people who rocked the whole experience ,

To Christian ,
Thanks bro for the encouragement card , and yeah , I've got to say that I'm flattered by your message ...

To Wesley ,
Thanks for being an inspiration in terms of music !

To Sheng Kai , Chuo Shuan and Weng Soon ,
Sorry that I forgot to drop encouragement cards in your letterbox's ! Thanks for the encouragement though .

To Samantha ,
Thanks for being that inspiration of someone who gets knocked down and rises up again immediately to face the challenge ...

To Michelle Lim ,
Haha your welcome ! :P

To Yi Shien and my team of Grissini-ians ,
Good job on everything guys , thanks for being my "teman" most of the time Yi Shien , sorry I didn't help lead enough...

To Rachel Law ,
Thanks for the encouragement ! Good job on worship leading and being an example to others , along with being such a great friend to ... everyone .

And last , but definitely not least ,
Thank you , Li Yen ,
For being there for me in my times of trouble , for listening to my issues and all . For being like a best friend , who never ceases to care for my well-being . No wonder HE fell for you :P

Sorry if I missed anyone out , I'm just so tired , therefore I shall go sleep now .



"We all may indeed just start going back to our old ways again , but this time , I hope that we will just think about what happened over this period of 3 days ... All glory to God ! "

"God whispers to us in our pleasures , speaks to us in our conscience , and shouts at us in our pains -C.S.Lewis"

"For even if the dead shall rise , they will still not believe..."