An analysis of the event .

So yesterday night , something happened .

I mean if I took the words you said at face value , then it would mean that I'm only your friend because you can gain something out of this friendship .

Yes the "If you don't tell me I don't friend you anymore" threat and the corroborative "I'm SERIOUS" statement says it all .

How are you going to reconcile that to your apology ? You never said that you said something wrong , all you did was say that I misunderstood you because it was on MSN and that the tone is different . But seriously ? How else can I interpret the above ?

Simple .

See , maybe I've been too mathematical on my approach in life these days , that I've forgotten about the emotional and rational part of life .

I called Li Yen earlier , telling her the full story about this , and Li Yen being Li Yen told me the things that I knew I would hear shoved in my face anyway ; WWJD ?

So I was forced to think in the position of the almighty savior (Because even if I can't BE as holy and perfect as him , that shouldn't stop me from trying . No that doesn't mean that I'm trying to divide by Zero even though I can't , because that analogy is OFF , why ? Because it's human nature to sin , it's human nature to be violent and selfish , but is that an excuse for us to NOT to be not violent and selfish ? )

As much as I tried to shift things to fit my purpose , it failed . Because knowing Jesus , he'd do the complete opposite of what I did . Sure , I tried to give the excuse that "I don't hate her" or anything , but it's there , I was being unforgiving . Then I made the excuse "She never even tried to admit that she was wrong !! " But in reality , I was being unreasonable . Why ? Because I KNEW that she REALLY REALLY liked that guy and she's really insecure about things happening between them and therefore she wanted to know real bad . People say stupid things in circumstances like these , and therefore , she most likely didn't mean it . Furthermore , I weighed my statement "I'm only your friend because you want something out of me" compared to the friendship I already had with her . I mean , from my past experiences with her , I know that this is not true because of the way where I did nothing for her , and even did bad things to her and yet she was still THERE ....

A lesson was learned ; If a small statement that was a mistake by a friend can agitate me that way...am I ready for the real world ? To take in all the crap people have to say about me and still love them in the end ?

Right now , I don't know how to say it to her ...

After being so critical and all , I thought I had all the power in me to completely flatten someone , but the fact is , it's all pride...