Insomnia's moon .

Major depression strikes...

I didn't go to school for yesterday and today , why ? No , it's not because I caught the AHINI flu . Bad bad insomnia , imagine 8-hours of lying on the bed not being able to sleep . TWICE .

I'm just really broken right now .

I don't have the mood to blog about the up's and down's of my life .

Oh , about the feeling I've had for the last ...let's see... count the last day of CF Camp till today... erm , 4 months ?

FORGET ABOUT IT .

No , I didn't get over it . Just yet . But , I think I've found out ENOUGH , to know that I'm falling for just another trap .


Not everyone's going to be as lucky as you , Joseph . I really SHOULD have listened to your advice about ignoring this whole thing as hard as it gets from the very beginning .

Oh yes I'm pissed . It's soooo not because of her , it's just because of me and my stupid feelings , me and my stupid insomnia attacks , me and my STUPIDDDDDD self .

I'm sorry Hong Wei that I almost screamed at you that day when you were asking me to "Walk faster..." or so called.... I was just ticked off that day...By the amount of stupid insults people have been throwing at me .

See , the hymn "Turn your eyes upon Jesus" isn't just something that we should all use to tease my sister . It's just that , when you turn your eyes away from him , you're so screwed . I thought I was getting better.... but nothing's changed , I'm still backsliding . . .

I'm shouting it out right now....:" SOMEBODY SAVE ME ! "

Give me a break weih . PMR , Taekwondo poomsae competition tomorrow , Guitar lessons , Studies studies and more studies , that stupid feeling of mine that won't die down .

I mean , hear me out man...

People have been telling me that you've been frustrated because guys have been crushing on you , and when I asked you personally , you say no .

SAY IT IN MY FACE WEIH .

I'm not like any other guy out there , because I took a Facebook quiz and it said that I'm 53% female and 47% male .

Hurt me all you want , it seems , the more pain I get , the number it feels .

I want CF camp . I miss the peace up there . Though I wished I went back early on the second day or something . Because I know , that on that third day . . .

I need like , a whole day of quietness and peace . To get a hold of myself .

I've been buying into the lies of Satan for too long . I need him . But it was my decision , that caused me to stray away from him , he never left ...

Well , I'm apologizing . Right here . Right now . For crushing on YOU . I'm sorry okay ? Do forgive me . I'm sorry if I made you leave CF early that day , I'm sorry if I stressed you out or something . Don't remember me . If you do , remember me as the Retard who fell for you . If you want to settle this somemore , you know where to find me . Talk to me , face to face . Throw a chair at me , stab me or anything . I deserved it .

Right now , as my mentor is Emo-ing too . I'll follow .

Life was never meant to be simple , people who think that way are just a 100% Malaysian , them and their "Tidak-apa" ness . Speaking about my beloved country , I'm so against the backward move of our new education system which already sucks .

And well , if you're as critical as me , you would spot out oh-so-many spelling and grammar erros from this post . Why ? Because the writer didn't sleep for 8 hours , is currently massively depressed and so forth .

Taekwondo tomorrow . Poomsae competition . I'm so getting owned by Form 1 and 2-ers . Oh oh oh , did I mention that she's going ? Great . I hope that my face doesn't make her lose or anything .

I'm also not going to talk about how BADLY I failed on the first day of recess revo . Let's admit it . I suck at talking to people . I deserve to be a hermit .
This is my prayer in the Desert , when all that within me feels dry .