Today was a bad day no doubt...
I woke up LATE , missed my transport ...
Got my father to fetch me . Father gave me that 'your losing your discipline' while kept my cool .
It was national 'Gotong-Royong' day . We spent the first two periods in our PJK attire cleaning up the gardens of our respective clubs . I for one wanted to help the CF out , but it looked like we already had more than enough of helpers , and I had another club to help out ; Editorial board .
Yeah , while the rest of the school were helping out in keeping our beloved school clean , and at the same time talking and socializing with their friends , I was running around the school taking pictures . Granted , photography IS my hobby , but being all sweaty and all blur because I was half-awake got me some really bad pictures . Especially being in the outdoors , switching settings every now and there isn't something I'm good at doing . Thank God that there's a few usable pictures ...
Then , class , oh boy , I was just in the verge of breaking down and so sick of myself , I didn't know who I was kidding as I drove Yuen Wei and Elizabeth up the wall , yes I'm sure people like Gavin were just enjoying the outcome . Both of you , whatever happened in class today was my fault , if I annoyed anyone which I know I did , it's my fault . I'm being that form 1 kid again , wanna know why ?
It's just , I don't want to be who I am anymore , I tried to be helpful , I tried to be nice , but I don't think I'm just everyone's type of person .
I mean seriously , point out another 16 year old guy who's gotten involved quite deeply into philosophy and worldviews , who tries being funny but fails , who looks nothing more like a stick , who can never make up his mind , who just happens to love science , who tries to be humble but is actually SOOO proud , who thinks so deeply about things that he's so oblivious to the obvious...
It's just that sometimes I wished that everyone hated me rather than pretend to care , because when you find out that your friends will ditch you for someone else so easily anyway , it hurts more .
Anyway . I went to support some 4Angsana Oral thing , then I headed for CF . But I was there only for awhile before me , Li Yen , Shaina , Rachel Law , Yi Shien , Samuel , Ernest and Melvin went over to Grace assembly for Tony Anthony's taming the tiger sermon .
I admit , I was really sesat and left out , which I didn't really care because I was there for Tony's testimony . But guess what , apparently his testimony was a supposed 'fraud' . Yes it's everywhere , the incoherence and all... I thought he was genuine though . Sad for me I guess .
Wee Yen fetched me , Rachel and Yi Shien back , thanks Wee Yen .
So my personal Computer is still spoilt...
And with just one week left to my mid-terms . . .
It was Rachel and Yun Lynn's birthday yesterday , happy birthday the both of you !
It sucks to be me .
It sucks to have the person that you've liked for at least 3-4 times like every other friend around you whether 'bad' or 'good' but yourself . That just shows how bad you really are...
But you know what ? I won't let this affect my run in the race . Because I'm a liberal Christian . And I know that God gave me so many naturalistic instruments to think for myself . And yeah , I am a proud person . But if getting hurt is the only way to be humble , then bring on the heat .
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