It all started in the year of 1993 when my mom got a job at Makro . I was an accident , I wasn't planned to be borne like the most of you were , I overheard my parents talking about this "accident"
At a young age , I was blamed by some of my superstitious relatives for my grandfather's death , a few months after I was borne . I was young , I didn't understand fully , I didn't have the guts to fight back against them , yet , I was deeply hurt .
I was in my primary ages , where my parents hit me 21 times on my buttocks just because my maid said on the phone by accident :"Declan sudah Mati " rather than , "Declan sangat naughty " What I did ? Leaked saliva on my sister's soup , I was 6 or 7. After getting caned for more than 21 times without remorse from my father , I was unable to sit , stand , only to lie helplessly on my bed .
I was 13 , Most of you know how i was then , my sister would go around gossiping to her friends about me when i just entered the school , I was hurt , but at church , I was an outcast , people looked down on me , just because I same shirt twice for 2 weeks .
...
Saturday, February 28, 2009
All good things come to an end.
I posted something on my sister's blog , she , being a spoiled brat as she is , went crying to my father , which...you know la... My mom says :" No neeed to go to church already la you ! " Look who's talking , you know nuts , only watching korean drama's , you just loveeee to stick your nose into other people's business .
The way my sister reacted just proved how ignorant she really is , how effing narrow minded she is .
Berserking in a few seconds...
The way my sister reacted just proved how ignorant she really is , how effing narrow minded she is .
Berserking in a few seconds...
It's amazing
My mom got a new phone , so I inherited her XpressMusic 5310 . Might...MIGHT be getting a Touch HD later on . This time my dad didn't promise , so I wont go berserk like I did before .
I just read my sister's blog about the "Drama's" and I have to say...She is a freaking ...nevermind..
I just read my sister's blog about the "Drama's" and I have to say...She is a freaking ...nevermind..
IO Day '
Interact Orientation day!
I thought that it would start at 7.15 , so i rushed there , dad and I solved our conflict , so he fetched me .
Met up with some friends and registered . First thing we did was to listen to a Rotary club member from Subang , the mic was spoiled he was talking really softly . . .After that being done , we had an ice breaker ! It's called "Dog Bone" A Roll of duct tape was placed in the center of two teams , each member of each team had their own "Numbers" . When Abi , the game coordinator , shouted out a definition or a number , a person who matches the description or number would have to try and take the duct tape , if one holds the duct tape and gets tagged by a member of the opposing team , they would lose and the opponent would get a mark , we won .
After that we had some food , Pn Teh Peik Siam was surprisingly nice to everyone . After we had been filled , we went on to play some station games . Red team(my team)'s first station : Two people would have a toaster in between them , the toaster would shoot out a loaf of bread and we would have to catch it , with our heads . Me and Kf went first , PHAIL ! We proceeded to the second station , promising to come back later . The second station was some bin with a black cover on top , only allowing a hand to reach in , we were supposed to get 50 cent coins from the inside , I went first , thinking that it would be easy , as soon as i reached in , I felt stuff crawling over my hand , yup , you guessed it , it was a bin filled with worms , live worms .
There were more la ... but I'm just tired and lazy to post it all up , It was fun , but disgusting...
I thought that it would start at 7.15 , so i rushed there , dad and I solved our conflict , so he fetched me .
Met up with some friends and registered . First thing we did was to listen to a Rotary club member from Subang , the mic was spoiled he was talking really softly . . .After that being done , we had an ice breaker ! It's called "Dog Bone" A Roll of duct tape was placed in the center of two teams , each member of each team had their own "Numbers" . When Abi , the game coordinator , shouted out a definition or a number , a person who matches the description or number would have to try and take the duct tape , if one holds the duct tape and gets tagged by a member of the opposing team , they would lose and the opponent would get a mark , we won .
After that we had some food , Pn Teh Peik Siam was surprisingly nice to everyone . After we had been filled , we went on to play some station games . Red team(my team)'s first station : Two people would have a toaster in between them , the toaster would shoot out a loaf of bread and we would have to catch it , with our heads . Me and Kf went first , PHAIL ! We proceeded to the second station , promising to come back later . The second station was some bin with a black cover on top , only allowing a hand to reach in , we were supposed to get 50 cent coins from the inside , I went first , thinking that it would be easy , as soon as i reached in , I felt stuff crawling over my hand , yup , you guessed it , it was a bin filled with worms , live worms .
There were more la ... but I'm just tired and lazy to post it all up , It was fun , but disgusting...
Friday, February 27, 2009
Family .
My Grandmother , the most annoying person sometimes , she's the whole reason my whole family loves to gossip , her logic is like this : Say in their faces cannot , very rude , say behind their back , can , common sense . Authority always right , you always wrong . I can curse people , people cannot curse me . Australia people fine us , for doing wrong thing , we just talk bad about them in Malaysia .
How long will i have to put up with this nonsense ? My mother can care about my little cousins so much that she would run outside shouting out their names just to see them , and me ? " GO WALK URSELF LA !" When I need transport to school .
My father always explodes if he losses in an logical-debate , he cannot lose , if he does , explode . He thinks that only he can get angry , while the others cant . He thinks that starring at girls is "NATURAL" While I see it really differently .
I'm really gonna show my true self to them one of these days , for all my life I was just a little boy getting punished by my parents , even if they're in the wrong . I'm the only one in my "Family" that dares to stand up what I think is right .
One of these days , I'm just gonna throw a chair at one of them , I'm always the one who gets picked on , all my sister has to do to get anything is by crying , It's amazing how I get shouted at for expressing my views , and she gets away with having a boyfriend , and taking pictures of them touching each other , just by crying .
I don't want to be like them . . . They're friends hate them , relatives look down on them , and because of them , people hate me .
I want and must excel for my PMR , to prove that I'm not dumb , as my parents put it "You are the technical type , your sister better than you at study" It's amazing how they judge , when they only see us 2 hours a day .
Nothing is calming me down now , I tried praying , but I don't think it was sincere , I tried listening to music , looking in the bright side . . .What will calm this storm in me ?
God , I know you're there , your telling me something , something...that I have been too blind to see . I'm so lost , but because of my family blood errors , I don't have a shoulder to cry on ....
I'm so angry and hateful . . . Walking to IO day tomorrow ...
And people who read this , If you hate me / despise me because of this post , go away then , this is the real me .
If you really cared , you wouldn't go :" Hey are you ok ?" Because you know the answer very well .
How long will i have to put up with this nonsense ? My mother can care about my little cousins so much that she would run outside shouting out their names just to see them , and me ? " GO WALK URSELF LA !" When I need transport to school .
My father always explodes if he losses in an logical-debate , he cannot lose , if he does , explode . He thinks that only he can get angry , while the others cant . He thinks that starring at girls is "NATURAL" While I see it really differently .
I'm really gonna show my true self to them one of these days , for all my life I was just a little boy getting punished by my parents , even if they're in the wrong . I'm the only one in my "Family" that dares to stand up what I think is right .
One of these days , I'm just gonna throw a chair at one of them , I'm always the one who gets picked on , all my sister has to do to get anything is by crying , It's amazing how I get shouted at for expressing my views , and she gets away with having a boyfriend , and taking pictures of them touching each other , just by crying .
I don't want to be like them . . . They're friends hate them , relatives look down on them , and because of them , people hate me .
I want and must excel for my PMR , to prove that I'm not dumb , as my parents put it "You are the technical type , your sister better than you at study" It's amazing how they judge , when they only see us 2 hours a day .
Nothing is calming me down now , I tried praying , but I don't think it was sincere , I tried listening to music , looking in the bright side . . .What will calm this storm in me ?
God , I know you're there , your telling me something , something...that I have been too blind to see . I'm so lost , but because of my family blood errors , I don't have a shoulder to cry on ....
I'm so angry and hateful . . . Walking to IO day tomorrow ...
And people who read this , If you hate me / despise me because of this post , go away then , this is the real me .
If you really cared , you wouldn't go :" Hey are you ok ?" Because you know the answer very well .
My soul .
Anger . Anger . Anger . It's all about anger in me . I want to just shout out my anger at my parents .Xpress music 5310 became the Xpress music 5200 . A phone much worst than my current one . I wanted a fish , they gave me a stone .
Amazing
Something happened last night that convinced me about me being filled with Hate and Anger . There isn't sadness , remorse , joy and lastly , love in me . Yesterday was the day which i really blew .
Played football at the Sahara just now , didn't make any saves/scores which looked cool...
Interact orientation tomorrow , since I'm not talking to my dad , I be walking there .
Played football at the Sahara just now , didn't make any saves/scores which looked cool...
Interact orientation tomorrow , since I'm not talking to my dad , I be walking there .
Thursday, February 26, 2009
I find joy .
I'm happy now , I don't know why .
It's funny how my sister , who thinks shes some super caring person , only hangs out with the "COOL" people . Everyday in my transport , I have to endure 10 minutes of pure gossip talk with her and her friend . I mean , who are they ? To decide whether a guy is suitable for a girl , who are they ? To expect someone to message them back when asked . And I , I hang out with the "Outcasts" deemed by the "cool" people , not all of them , but just some . It's just funny how the "idiotic" bunch of 3Dahlia , was able to thrash the whole class results-wise .
It's funny how my sister , who thinks shes some super caring person , only hangs out with the "COOL" people . Everyday in my transport , I have to endure 10 minutes of pure gossip talk with her and her friend . I mean , who are they ? To decide whether a guy is suitable for a girl , who are they ? To expect someone to message them back when asked . And I , I hang out with the "Outcasts" deemed by the "cool" people , not all of them , but just some . It's just funny how the "idiotic" bunch of 3Dahlia , was able to thrash the whole class results-wise .
Private .
My sister invaded my Blog again . Sigh . When will she ever learn . . .
Walked back from school today , my transporter forgot about me ... AGAIN . Earlier on was nice , it was cloudy before the House Training , hung out with the 2Br08 gang , and Kavin .
Again , felt like an outcast , what to do ?
Anyway , I successfully got 96.6/100 for my Science "Teacher's Trial" test . Getting the highest for Science and Sejarah . Math's quiz tomorrow .
"This world , you must walk alone."
Walked back from school today , my transporter forgot about me ... AGAIN . Earlier on was nice , it was cloudy before the House Training , hung out with the 2Br08 gang , and Kavin .
Again , felt like an outcast , what to do ?
Anyway , I successfully got 96.6/100 for my Science "Teacher's Trial" test . Getting the highest for Science and Sejarah . Math's quiz tomorrow .
"This world , you must walk alone."
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Hate .
I'm starting to hate my life more and more .
I was supposed to get a new HP by monday as my current phone is dying , and look , my father keeps on delaying ... If he was in my shoes , he would have got his phone straight away . SCREW HIM LA .
And *STAR*-ing firefox keeps bugging up , and I'm always the outcast in school , stupid Bryan , could you please stop making fun of people's looks ?!
And wow , with friends like THEM , who needs enemies ?
I was supposed to get a new HP by monday as my current phone is dying , and look , my father keeps on delaying ... If he was in my shoes , he would have got his phone straight away . SCREW HIM LA .
And *STAR*-ing firefox keeps bugging up , and I'm always the outcast in school , stupid Bryan , could you please stop making fun of people's looks ?!
And wow , with friends like THEM , who needs enemies ?
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Touch '
I'm not getting the Touch Pro , father suggested that I wait . Also decided on this because of Victor and Aiman's comments on me getting a TP . Thanks .
My phone is half died , so I'm gonna "inherit" my mom's Nokia Xpress music phone for a short while .
In the time being , because of the MCW 2009 in Barcelona , I think i have alot of choices now ...
HELP ME PICK ! LOL !
Nokia n97 .
http://www.gsmarena.com/nokia_n97-2615.php
What I like : JUST LOOK AT THE SPECS ! Love the design and the QWERTY Keyboard .
What I dislike : might have to wait awhile , should cost a bomb , SYMBIAN OS .
HTC Touch Pro 2 .
http://www.gsmarena.com/htc_touch_pro2-2690.php
What I like : WinMo 6.5 capable ? 3.6 inch display , Proximity sensor's , 5-rowed keyboard just like a desktop .
What I dislike : The back design sucks , 178grams .
SE Xperia X1
http://forum.lowyat.net/topic/629076/+2160
What i like : WinMo , resolution .
What i dislike : No accelerometer T.T
HTC Rhodium , Basically , a HTC Touch HD with a QWERTY Keypad . Unannounced .
Palm Pre , Really nice and unique OS , sad thing is that it has a really uglykeypad and a kiddy design .
My phone is half died , so I'm gonna "inherit" my mom's Nokia Xpress music phone for a short while .
In the time being , because of the MCW 2009 in Barcelona , I think i have alot of choices now ...
HELP ME PICK ! LOL !
Nokia n97 .
http://www.gsmarena.com/nokia_n97-2615.php
What I like : JUST LOOK AT THE SPECS ! Love the design and the QWERTY Keyboard .
What I dislike : might have to wait awhile , should cost a bomb , SYMBIAN OS .
HTC Touch Pro 2 .
http://www.gsmarena.com/htc_touch_pro2-2690.php
What I like : WinMo 6.5 capable ? 3.6 inch display , Proximity sensor's , 5-rowed keyboard just like a desktop .
What I dislike : The back design sucks , 178grams .
SE Xperia X1
http://forum.lowyat.net/topic/629076/+2160
What i like : WinMo , resolution .
What i dislike : No accelerometer T.T
HTC Rhodium , Basically , a HTC Touch HD with a QWERTY Keypad . Unannounced .
Palm Pre , Really nice and unique OS , sad thing is that it has a really uglykeypad and a kiddy design .
bitterness '
Only two people know who I'm crushing on right now . I really dislike crushes , I know that it's a nice feeling , a natural one , but it seriously distracts me in my studies . SIGH .
Going to tuition now . Bye people .
Going to tuition now . Bye people .
Toleration '
So cow-ing mad today , it seems that almost all of the teacher's are starting to dislike me and some of my friends . It's not like we make alot of noise or anything , it's just that we say stuff at the wrong times .
Sigh , every time i go for a gulp of water , my friends would seriously try so hard in making me cough it out by laughter , and they succeeded , amazingly , it came out on the person who made me laugh the most ...
I'm always hyper at school and tuition , but never at home , I'm never hyper when i need the hyper-ness ...
Sigh , every time i go for a gulp of water , my friends would seriously try so hard in making me cough it out by laughter , and they succeeded , amazingly , it came out on the person who made me laugh the most ...
I'm always hyper at school and tuition , but never at home , I'm never hyper when i need the hyper-ness ...
Monday, February 23, 2009
School '
Sigh , another tough day at school . Pn Norlia has something against me , she was teaching about "Tolenransi" which is toleration in English .But lo and behold , she exploded at me just because I whispered to Kavindran the question which she asked him , except I said it in English , The queen of irony took a duster and banged it really hard on my book . Talk about toleration .
I actually LOOKED FORWARD for Chinese class today ! OH NO ! Mostly because... "SHE" is there... lol .
I do hope that daddy buy's me a TP today , my Nokia 6300 is haunted , just as soon as i wanted a new phone , 2 long lines of dead pixel's appeared . . .
I'm failing in my studies lar . . . sure , highest in class for history , 5th highest for an super hard English test . It's not enough .
I actually LOOKED FORWARD for Chinese class today ! OH NO ! Mostly because... "SHE" is there... lol .
I do hope that daddy buy's me a TP today , my Nokia 6300 is haunted , just as soon as i wanted a new phone , 2 long lines of dead pixel's appeared . . .
I'm failing in my studies lar . . . sure , highest in class for history , 5th highest for an super hard English test . It's not enough .
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Blessed be your name '
Worship was awesome today , though i still didn't sing right , i still sang .
My father promised me a HTC Touch Pro by this saturday , hopefully tomorrow . =D .
My Handphone's alarm failed me again ! NUUU .
Oh , continuing with the Organization .
Organization IV's number 2 : Keith Chan Kein Wah , an under aged black belt in Taekwando , he hardly talks , he rather expresses himself in actions .
Number 3 : Declan Tan Yi Kai , having everything but love . . . Parents give me money , give me food , but they couldn't care less . He consider's myself as a new Christian , not even a year old , that explains why he cant feel anything...for now .
Number 4 : Kavindran A/L Sugumar , Having parents like member's number 1 and 3 , he too couldn't care less .
Beliefs of the members .
I : Semi-Atheist , his brother and his sister are "Christian's"
II: Budhist , non-hardcore , couldn't care less .
III : New Christian , Baptist , one of the two member's who hold on to "religious" values , fails alot .
IV : Hindu , Believes in afterlife and Karma .
Talents of members :
I : Extremely good artist
II : Cartoonist .
III: Studies .
IV : Studies .
Ok ok , All of us , we share one thing in common , our families gave us money , food etc. etc. But we just didn't get the most important thing , either that or we are just lost people . Everywhere we go , we feel like outcasts , except Member 4 .
Like me , they are lost , Wei Han...he was the guy whom i tried to tell him about Jesus , but i failed...over and over again...
My father promised me a HTC Touch Pro by this saturday , hopefully tomorrow . =D .
My Handphone's alarm failed me again ! NUUU .
Oh , continuing with the Organization .
Organization IV's number 2 : Keith Chan Kein Wah , an under aged black belt in Taekwando , he hardly talks , he rather expresses himself in actions .
Number 3 : Declan Tan Yi Kai , having everything but love . . . Parents give me money , give me food , but they couldn't care less . He consider's myself as a new Christian , not even a year old , that explains why he cant feel anything...for now .
Number 4 : Kavindran A/L Sugumar , Having parents like member's number 1 and 3 , he too couldn't care less .
Beliefs of the members .
I : Semi-Atheist , his brother and his sister are "Christian's"
II: Budhist , non-hardcore , couldn't care less .
III : New Christian , Baptist , one of the two member's who hold on to "religious" values , fails alot .
IV : Hindu , Believes in afterlife and Karma .
Talents of members :
I : Extremely good artist
II : Cartoonist .
III: Studies .
IV : Studies .
Ok ok , All of us , we share one thing in common , our families gave us money , food etc. etc. But we just didn't get the most important thing , either that or we are just lost people . Everywhere we go , we feel like outcasts , except Member 4 .
Like me , they are lost , Wei Han...he was the guy whom i tried to tell him about Jesus , but i failed...over and over again...
Saturday, February 21, 2009
INC '
MY FATHER ALLOWED ME TO GO TO INC WITH THE YOUTH ! LOL !
Played L4D with Ian , Cj , WX and Philip . Justin , Zhexian , Raymond and James were there .
It's was fun la..but...kinda pissed some people off over there , and the process of getting there .
Played L4D with Ian , Cj , WX and Philip . Justin , Zhexian , Raymond and James were there .
It's was fun la..but...kinda pissed some people off over there , and the process of getting there .
Sigh
False hope . Rm2850 , I was so hyped up today for nothing .
My father thinks that I'm some young boy who doesn't know how to use the internet to do research . Guess what , I have been researching for the past 2 weeks now , reading reviews by reviews , and I finally decided , and what did you say ? Give me one week to think . And what are you gonna do during that week ? Read the same reviews which i already read .
It's not fair how your daughter can spend like 1k every two months , and I can't even spend my own savings for what i NEED . My current phone's alarm failed me today , I was almost late for TKD .
Well , after all , I'm just a member of Organization IV , the place where the lost and lonely gather...
OrgIV's number 1 : Tan Wei Han , my old enemy , now my friend , tortured by his family , having an elder brother which whacks him up daily , a pair of parents that doesn't care . (according to him that is )
I'm running out of time , I will post more about this organization later . Ta2
My father thinks that I'm some young boy who doesn't know how to use the internet to do research . Guess what , I have been researching for the past 2 weeks now , reading reviews by reviews , and I finally decided , and what did you say ? Give me one week to think . And what are you gonna do during that week ? Read the same reviews which i already read .
It's not fair how your daughter can spend like 1k every two months , and I can't even spend my own savings for what i NEED . My current phone's alarm failed me today , I was almost late for TKD .
Well , after all , I'm just a member of Organization IV , the place where the lost and lonely gather...
OrgIV's number 1 : Tan Wei Han , my old enemy , now my friend , tortured by his family , having an elder brother which whacks him up daily , a pair of parents that doesn't care . (according to him that is )
I'm running out of time , I will post more about this organization later . Ta2
IDONTLIKEYOUANYMORE!
I'm weak , I'm angry , I'm possessive , I'm trying to get attention , I judge others before i judge myself , I lie , I cheat , I'm arrogant .
That's what I admitted in Pn.Norlia's class , when she asked whether I had "hemah tinggi "
It's ironic how only me and Kavin admitted that we lied , we were rough , and the others ? THEY WERE PERFECT !
Dear Eu Liang started looking at me weirdly and told me "I know you are looking for attention..." COME ON LA ! You aren't perfect too , and you are just too immature to really admit of your imperfection...You are one of the most arrogant person I have ever met , you speak as if you are the smartest in the class , I have been in the same class as you for three years now , and you have never seemed to change , sure , you might have beaten me in results during form one , but look at form 2 , you wanna be arrogant , then I will too , you got like the 17th in class and I'm the 4th , and yet you still just HAVE to stick up your snobbish nose to me . Your logic : An eye for an head , a limb for a life . You make jokes but cant take jokes , what happened to be a few accidental drops of water touching you , became me almost dying by your smart idea of sticking glue into the nozzle of my bottle . Do you have any idea how many people dislike you ?
SHEESH .
Btw , I don't like HER anymore . . . Finally !
I don't know whether I like someone else now....
That's what I admitted in Pn.Norlia's class , when she asked whether I had "hemah tinggi "
It's ironic how only me and Kavin admitted that we lied , we were rough , and the others ? THEY WERE PERFECT !
Dear Eu Liang started looking at me weirdly and told me "I know you are looking for attention..." COME ON LA ! You aren't perfect too , and you are just too immature to really admit of your imperfection...You are one of the most arrogant person I have ever met , you speak as if you are the smartest in the class , I have been in the same class as you for three years now , and you have never seemed to change , sure , you might have beaten me in results during form one , but look at form 2 , you wanna be arrogant , then I will too , you got like the 17th in class and I'm the 4th , and yet you still just HAVE to stick up your snobbish nose to me . Your logic : An eye for an head , a limb for a life . You make jokes but cant take jokes , what happened to be a few accidental drops of water touching you , became me almost dying by your smart idea of sticking glue into the nozzle of my bottle . Do you have any idea how many people dislike you ?
SHEESH .
Btw , I don't like HER anymore . . . Finally !
I don't know whether I like someone else now....
Friday, February 20, 2009
PICTURE HEAVY '
This is going to Facebook soon enough '
I can't tag it , cause you're a retard ! Kidding...
Oh gosh , Here's Di Wern looking scary...
Then there' Yun Lynn in Tuition ...
@Blogger raped the image quality ....
G-G
Got Zha-ed by Pn.Norlia today , long story . LOL
I got 72 for English , OMGOSH!!! I got all the questions with more than two letters together e.g. embarrassing , committee WRONG ! I even spelled weird wrongly !
The thing that really butchered my English is BM , I mean , there are just so many BM words which have almost the same spelling as an English word , which really confused me . T.T
I'm really excited about camp . Was Dota-ing today with some friends , again...kena scolding by Gavin for phailing to push , got beaten by Danush...yes DANUSH ! the really nub guy whom my standard was almost 5 times higher than him 2 years ago... LOL
I got 72 for English , OMGOSH!!! I got all the questions with more than two letters together e.g. embarrassing , committee WRONG ! I even spelled weird wrongly !
The thing that really butchered my English is BM , I mean , there are just so many BM words which have almost the same spelling as an English word , which really confused me . T.T
I'm really excited about camp . Was Dota-ing today with some friends , again...kena scolding by Gavin for phailing to push , got beaten by Danush...yes DANUSH ! the really nub guy whom my standard was almost 5 times higher than him 2 years ago... LOL
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Picture bomb !
I have lots of pictures to upload when I have the time !
Very tired ...
WEEEEE ! highest for sejarah...
Very tired ...
WEEEEE ! highest for sejarah...
Sunday, February 15, 2009
CHRISTMIX!!!!
WOW !!
Rihanna's Umbrella christmix !
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vE57VcA8E_M&feature=channel_page
1 word : AWESOME !
Bleeding love christmix !
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vaMAqmApMU0&feature=related
Went to the cross for love, when I took all of the pain
of the world in this heart for you I felt the shame
of your sins before you ever knew I existed
then something happened for the very time time with you
when I came in, changed your heart, you found something true
and everyone around can tell that you've been changing
Chorus:
Cuz I don't care what you've done
I'm inlove with you
you try to push me away
but I've forgiven you
my heart's crippled when your past tells you you're not chosen and you believe it
I keep bleeding keep keep bleeding keep bleeding keep keep bleeding love, keep bleeding keep keep bleeding love, it cuts me open
Trying hard to hear your prayers but your sins talk so loud
their piercings sounds fill your ears try to feel you with doubt
and I know that their goal is to make sure you keep falling
into their traps uh
But nothing in this world is tighter than my embrace
you're never in this world alone, I always see your face
when everyone around tells you're going crazy baby, baby
Chorus
bridge:
you think you're draining all of me, my blood still flows from Calvary
I had these nails in my hands for everyone you see...
I don't care what you've done, I'm inlove with you
you try to push me away, but I've forgive you
My heart's crippled when you're past tells you you're not chosen...these arms are open for you
Rihanna's take a bow CHRISTMIX !
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sikb3a-Ogy0
ENJOY !
Watch this too ! http://www.tangle.com/view_video.php?viewkey=bbb04ab3b2c1fb244f33
Rihanna's Umbrella christmix !
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vE57VcA8E_M&feature=channel_page
1 word : AWESOME !
Bleeding love christmix !
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vaMAqmApMU0&feature=related
Went to the cross for love, when I took all of the pain
of the world in this heart for you I felt the shame
of your sins before you ever knew I existed
then something happened for the very time time with you
when I came in, changed your heart, you found something true
and everyone around can tell that you've been changing
Chorus:
Cuz I don't care what you've done
I'm inlove with you
you try to push me away
but I've forgiven you
my heart's crippled when your past tells you you're not chosen and you believe it
I keep bleeding keep keep bleeding keep bleeding keep keep bleeding love, keep bleeding keep keep bleeding love, it cuts me open
Trying hard to hear your prayers but your sins talk so loud
their piercings sounds fill your ears try to feel you with doubt
and I know that their goal is to make sure you keep falling
into their traps uh
But nothing in this world is tighter than my embrace
you're never in this world alone, I always see your face
when everyone around tells you're going crazy baby, baby
Chorus
bridge:
you think you're draining all of me, my blood still flows from Calvary
I had these nails in my hands for everyone you see...
I don't care what you've done, I'm inlove with you
you try to push me away, but I've forgive you
My heart's crippled when you're past tells you you're not chosen...these arms are open for you
Rihanna's take a bow CHRISTMIX !
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sikb3a-Ogy0
ENJOY !
Watch this too ! http://www.tangle.com/view_video.php?viewkey=bbb04ab3b2c1fb244f33
Darwin ?
Read today's Star (15FEB2009) The article about Evolutionist's VS Creationist's , somehow rather , Creationists are labeled as CHRISTIANS only , and yet only a small part of the 2-paged article was pro-creation , while the others where pro-evolution .
If I'm not mistaken , Muslims , Budhists , and other religions claim that they were created too ?
This is like targeting Christians only . . . little do they know that this is just to help build up another religion , Atheism .
If I'm not mistaken , Muslims , Budhists , and other religions claim that they were created too ?
This is like targeting Christians only . . . little do they know that this is just to help build up another religion , Atheism .
Emo lonely!
Argh... feeling so bored at home ... Gaming doesn't solve nuts !
I wanna play music ! I suck at singing , in case some of you didn't notice I have this pitching issue where my sentence gets abruptly cut by a super high pitched word . . .
Guitar lessons soon...hopefully ...
I also need a new mouse and GC , my current mouse is like 800dpi and has no ergonomic design . . .
I wanna play music ! I suck at singing , in case some of you didn't notice I have this pitching issue where my sentence gets abruptly cut by a super high pitched word . . .
Guitar lessons soon...hopefully ...
I also need a new mouse and GC , my current mouse is like 800dpi and has no ergonomic design . . .
Saturday, February 14, 2009
SHOGUN !
Went to Shogun right after churches Valentine' day special conducted by Ps. Malcom and his wife . There were 14 or 13 of us , Half-church members , and half school friends . The food was disappointing for 78 bucks per head , but still , its a one-time only thing lah..another disappointment was that i forgot to bring my CAMERA !
Sorry no pics .
Played Rambo at the arcade with Victor , after dinner , went to the most lousiest and expensive CC in PJ . Our computer's kept on lagging !
Dead tired today...
new crush ?!?!?!
Sorry no pics .
Played Rambo at the arcade with Victor , after dinner , went to the most lousiest and expensive CC in PJ . Our computer's kept on lagging !
Dead tired today...
new crush ?!?!?!
Friday, February 13, 2009
save me .
I'm slowly returning to my old self . . .
Throwing away the effects of my "iTransform" .
I'm falling deeper and deeper .
Dear lord , please let this year's Cf camp's message change me again lord .
I Failed .
I'm sorry
Throwing away the effects of my "iTransform" .
I'm falling deeper and deeper .
Dear lord , please let this year's Cf camp's message change me again lord .
I Failed .
I'm sorry
Thursday, February 12, 2009
We forsake our own ..
I was browsing through some videos in youtube when i saw this :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4NlyZqJhwk&fmt=18
Watch in high quality .
I used to think , and was almost brought up to think that beggars might use their donated money to buy cigarettes etc. etc.
This changed my mind .
.
After all this , all of my depression just...burned
I have nothing to say .
Valentines special at CBC Sea Park this saturday , 2-4p.m.
BGR talk , other than chinese tradition-ed ones , i never heard a real BGR talk before .
I remember those times when coupling was a crime in the youth , not serving will get you lectured , we do stuff for the sake of doing it .
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4NlyZqJhwk&fmt=18
Watch in high quality .
I used to think , and was almost brought up to think that beggars might use their donated money to buy cigarettes etc. etc.
This changed my mind .
.
After all this , all of my depression just...burned
I have nothing to say .
Valentines special at CBC Sea Park this saturday , 2-4p.m.
BGR talk , other than chinese tradition-ed ones , i never heard a real BGR talk before .
I remember those times when coupling was a crime in the youth , not serving will get you lectured , we do stuff for the sake of doing it .
I will .
It's amazing , i had a little thought of leaving Him in my most depressed moments , i shook it off , and begged for his mercy , later on , wanted to go to SBL with Kavin and Chin Seng , on the way there , there was this SUV which blocked my view of the other lane , the lights were green , as i was walking side by side to Kavin on the narrow lane , i lifted my hands to tell the SUV "Thank you " for letting us cross , oblivious to a car coming up from the other lane , i just walked ahead , Kavin reacted fast , grabbed my hand just moments before a red Proton Saga passed by , the lady looked like one of my teachers and was smiling at me and waving her fingers .
It's just amazing .
I decided to lay down a few rules from yesterday onwards .
1. I will not share my doubts/problems with anyone from the church , you know how annoying atheist's are with their questions . I'm just creating unnecessary problems for them . Sorry JJ .
2. Never think about leaving him who has loved me , had mercy for me , died on the cross for me .
3.Try and love my friends no matter who they are , whatever they did .
4.Pretend not to have a sister .
5.Forget about my dreadful past .
6.Appreciate my friends .
7.Run....Back to him .
I'm sorry , JJ , Jeremy , Deb , Andrew , Jhiven and the others , for my complaints about how life sucks , for my ungratefulness . Thank you guys .
It's just amazing .
I decided to lay down a few rules from yesterday onwards .
1. I will not share my doubts/problems with anyone from the church , you know how annoying atheist's are with their questions . I'm just creating unnecessary problems for them . Sorry JJ .
2. Never think about leaving him who has loved me , had mercy for me , died on the cross for me .
3.Try and love my friends no matter who they are , whatever they did .
4.Pretend not to have a sister .
5.Forget about my dreadful past .
6.Appreciate my friends .
7.Run....Back to him .
I'm sorry , JJ , Jeremy , Deb , Andrew , Jhiven and the others , for my complaints about how life sucks , for my ungratefulness . Thank you guys .
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
.
When i was Form 1 , I just entered the school , you brought your friends to tease me . I persevered .
In Church , I was so happy that it would be my first day at Youth , but you had to encourage your friends to gossip about me . I persevered .
Form 2 , you did the same , only stating that I was younger and that I stepped into YOUR life . Thus elaborating the fact that i was an "Accident" .
In church , the second year , I could not stand you and your friends anymore , my CG members would be telling you everything I say , i Ran . Joined a new church , where i met real people .
Form 3 , I just realized that I cant run anymore , I stood my ground , but yet again , you just HAD to have a post in CF and start pulling me down . You made me think that CF is a lousy place with so many hypocrites in it . And today , You told me that the CF has Invisible Rules , just like an Assassin Guild . And next , you want to come to my new church , and start spreading stuff about me there , i have to run... again .
You could be worshiping for Cf with all your voice , lifting up hands and let your emotions run , and yet , right after that , you could be in the car , gossiping so badly with your friend , and swearing so much .
I LOVE YOU .
You ruined my life .
Where Am I ?
Who Am I ?
Emotional breakdown in progress .
I'm trying to hold on to you Lord , if i let go . My life....
In Church , I was so happy that it would be my first day at Youth , but you had to encourage your friends to gossip about me . I persevered .
Form 2 , you did the same , only stating that I was younger and that I stepped into YOUR life . Thus elaborating the fact that i was an "Accident" .
In church , the second year , I could not stand you and your friends anymore , my CG members would be telling you everything I say , i Ran . Joined a new church , where i met real people .
Form 3 , I just realized that I cant run anymore , I stood my ground , but yet again , you just HAD to have a post in CF and start pulling me down . You made me think that CF is a lousy place with so many hypocrites in it . And today , You told me that the CF has Invisible Rules , just like an Assassin Guild . And next , you want to come to my new church , and start spreading stuff about me there , i have to run... again .
You could be worshiping for Cf with all your voice , lifting up hands and let your emotions run , and yet , right after that , you could be in the car , gossiping so badly with your friend , and swearing so much .
I LOVE YOU .
You ruined my life .
Where Am I ?
Who Am I ?
Emotional breakdown in progress .
I'm trying to hold on to you Lord , if i let go . My life....
...
I ran because of you! There i was , being in a new church , meeting new people , learning new things (in English) . And suddenly YOU want to come and visit . I'm just going to have to run away again , you and your self-centered ness , i guess I'm going to have to run away again ...
Sigh , where to now ?
Sigh , where to now ?
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
HyperSadding .
I'm sad and hyper . Only one of my friends will know why I'm sad .
I'm also sad that my English is starting to fall , as I am trying to improve on my oh-so-powderful BM .
Sigh .
I'm also sad that my English is starting to fall , as I am trying to improve on my oh-so-powderful BM .
Sigh .
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Hi '
Broken .
I don't know whether I'm happy or sad .
Thank you to the following people
Daniel Joseph Tay-li-Chung.
I consider you as my best friend , the closest . I don't know why , but you seem to be really patient with me and my annoying-ness . You really are an understanding person .
Lim Wei Xian
Haha , your lameness never fails . Thanks for getting serious at times .
Kavindran
Again , thank you for sitting beside me and not letting race become a barrier .
I don't know whether I'm happy or sad .
Thank you to the following people
Daniel Joseph Tay-li-Chung.
I consider you as my best friend , the closest . I don't know why , but you seem to be really patient with me and my annoying-ness . You really are an understanding person .
Lim Wei Xian
Haha , your lameness never fails . Thanks for getting serious at times .
Kavindran
Again , thank you for sitting beside me and not letting race become a barrier .
His-story .
Got back from church after having lunch/breakfast with some of the youth's .
Learnt about Ivan's ...uhm...ummmm...uMmmmm...history .
Its just funny how the whole church will somehow figure out who your crush is . . . LOL .
Brother's and sister's .... lol
Learnt about Ivan's ...uhm...ummmm...uMmmmm...history .
Its just funny how the whole church will somehow figure out who your crush is . . . LOL .
Brother's and sister's .... lol
Friday, February 6, 2009
SHOCKED !!!
JUST READ THIS !
http://forums.asiasoftsea.net/showthread.php?p=9212200&posted=1#post9212200
Look at the mindsets and behaviour of the young generation today !
@RayOfLight
Crusader777 is me .... WOW .
http://forums.asiasoftsea.net/showthread.php?p=9212200&posted=1#post9212200
Look at the mindsets and behaviour of the young generation today !
@RayOfLight
Crusader777 is me .... WOW .
OUTCRY !
This is my 200th post , i guess i really want to scream out from my inside out now . . .
God , I know your there , even if I still have doubts , where was i when you called me ? Lord , I'm a fool , please forgive me for the billionth time , or more . Don't let me repeat it , lord , send me a "Barnabas" I need a real friend , a real person whom i would grow in you with , someone who would encourage me for the good , and discourage me from the bad . - Anonymous
At last .
Another day at school , 243 more days to PMR .
We had a long recess today , after that , Moral , Pn Norlia asked me to go out since i forgot to bring my book , it was because i copied the wrong time table , was called up by En Allen , he is a nice teacher , thank you . Pn Norlia...sighh
We had a long recess today , after that , Moral , Pn Norlia asked me to go out since i forgot to bring my book , it was because i copied the wrong time table , was called up by En Allen , he is a nice teacher , thank you . Pn Norlia...sighh
Thursday, February 5, 2009
AGO '
Another "fun" day at school . Nothing much happened , except for a spot check .
Again , I lost an exercise book . . . Exersai didn't come . . . Bad day study-wise .
stayed back at school for house practice , hung out with Ken and Gavin , funny lah they all ...
House practice , I somehow got 2nd for the 100meter sprint and had to race again , the first in my group was Gavin .
200 Meter , Me VS Gavin VS Xing Bing , I was tired and lazy , so I jogged the first 50 meters , JOJO shouted :" OI! You don't run i make you run another 20 rounds!" , so I started sprinting , surprisingly , I caught up with an injured Gavin and got second again .
Again , I lost an exercise book . . . Exersai didn't come . . . Bad day study-wise .
stayed back at school for house practice , hung out with Ken and Gavin , funny lah they all ...
House practice , I somehow got 2nd for the 100meter sprint and had to race again , the first in my group was Gavin .
200 Meter , Me VS Gavin VS Xing Bing , I was tired and lazy , so I jogged the first 50 meters , JOJO shouted :" OI! You don't run i make you run another 20 rounds!" , so I started sprinting , surprisingly , I caught up with an injured Gavin and got second again .
after all , I'm just another guy .- Anonymous
am i even your friend ?
am i really just one Of the hundreds ?
did my "FRIENDS" really betray me for you ?
I really know who my true friends are now .
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
HTC '
I might be getting a " HTC Touch Pro " for my birthday , but using my own money .
AS usual , went to school today , had some fun , we got a new science teacher for my class , like me , her "England" very "powderful" , only hers is more " Powderful " , we used to have an excellent science teacher , but she thought that she was noisy and she is a very famous Biology teacher , why waste her time on us ?
Went for Interact , it was amazing how so many people turned up , including "XXXXXX" .
Im not ready to "Debate" with an Atheist i guess , his decision , at first i thought that my best friend was an athesit , LUCKILY , he was smart enough to admit that a God does exist , this was so because when teacher was teaching about our blood circulatory system , we were amazed by the complications of the human body , again , we were perfectly made .
AS usual , went to school today , had some fun , we got a new science teacher for my class , like me , her "England" very "powderful" , only hers is more " Powderful " , we used to have an excellent science teacher , but she thought that she was noisy and she is a very famous Biology teacher , why waste her time on us ?
Went for Interact , it was amazing how so many people turned up , including "XXXXXX" .
Im not ready to "Debate" with an Atheist i guess , his decision , at first i thought that my best friend was an athesit , LUCKILY , he was smart enough to admit that a God does exist , this was so because when teacher was teaching about our blood circulatory system , we were amazed by the complications of the human body , again , we were perfectly made .
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Robber's
My father twisted his words again , first , i painstakingly gave him Rm500 into my "savings"
NEXT , He said that i can buy a new phone by my BIRTHDAY , which is on march 31st .
THEN , he freaking wants me to get the top 5 in my class , then only i am allowed to spend my money . WTC ?
School starts tomorrow .
I know i can do it ... BUT WHY SO LONG WAIT !??
I officially wanna be anti-social . . . Backstabbers ...
My phone is breaking...and all my parents can do is just take all my money for themselves , i have been saving since i was 10 years old ?
NEXT , He said that i can buy a new phone by my BIRTHDAY , which is on march 31st .
THEN , he freaking wants me to get the top 5 in my class , then only i am allowed to spend my money . WTC ?
School starts tomorrow .
I know i can do it ... BUT WHY SO LONG WAIT !??
I officially wanna be anti-social . . . Backstabbers ...
My phone is breaking...and all my parents can do is just take all my money for themselves , i have been saving since i was 10 years old ?
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