One Way '

Haha , God is in control . JeAnn came into my class today , handing me my Interact shirt which I lost yesterday . THANK YOU YUN LYNN , for telling her about it , the wonders of msn eh... Surprisingly , Today went really well , God is just awesome !

I know I blog about God/Jesus alot , and I'm not gonna change the fact too . I just hope I don't go all hypocritical .

ANYYYWAY , I should bring my 8.1MP camera to good use , people can perform awesome photography work just with their 2MP camera from their phone , why can't I ?

I did a quick banner for the SMKTSRNR blog , I just hope Jeremy is able to apply the changes for me . I just feel liked doing something ELSE other than playing a game for the time being .

So....I completed my Siviks project ....I got outta my depression ! It's like , being as free as a bird , yet being able to study , to read his word etc.etc. Because I found my SHIELD and SWORD . When Jesus said :"The truth will set you free." He wasn't joking , I mean , I seriously despised the whole "crush" thing , many complications occurred , then confusion made it's move . . . UNTIL the point when I could not take it anymore , till I just decided to "Confess" , thinking that SHE would hate me for that , but guess what ? She wasn't mad , and that was it , everything is so much calmer now . And about those doubts I was having , the temptations I was getting...It's all not taking is toll now , because the video I posted not too long ago titled "Set Me Free "really got into my head , and I finally found the meaning out . It turns out , the demons have been defeated , but the only question now is...Do I want to be set free ?

Sure , I'll be ranting here and there sooner or later , but it won't get as bad as this anymore , I promise !

Rants and Review's

www.smktsrnr.blogspot.com

It's a new blog , it's under construction , it's gonna be a combined blog of gaming reviews ! Do link us !

Pie R SQUARE !

Okay Okay , where was I ? Guitar's hurt ! Alot . I'm still not getting numb to the pain though , even though everyone says that I should be . I got hooked onto SA now . . . Uh oh . I'm almost done with my Sivik project...WHICH I HAVE TO HAND UP BY TOMORROW ! And...I flunked my maths in MY standards , 65/100 , epic phail . I really ought to start studying ! Science is the only thing that I've been studying . Well , expect a few more posts from me soon enough . I just realized that this was my 366th post or something ? Wow. Amazingly , I got addicted to my Sivik project .
Another day at school , another annoying Keen Fai . . . Being out of depression is just so fun ! I mean , FINALLY , I get to experience life freely again .




Abide in his love , and he will abide in you . When I was weak , he gave me strength , When I was fearful , he gave me courage .

Things just keeps getting worst .

I'm supposed to bring 2 Interact T-shirts home today , one for Eng Kuan , who wasn't present today , unfortunately , I dropped one on the way to the front gate , and never saw this again . . . DejaVu ? I thank God that me and Eng Kuan ordered the same size .

No more tears !

I'm officially out of my depression ! I gotta rush my Siviks project later on... So I'm gonna have to be quick with this .

Well , unfortunately , 3Cempaka was supposed to return to their original class , while we , 3D , had to give in for 5Jasmine , we had to take over 6Bawah Bidara . As Pn Ernice told us the news , we went up with sour faces , and the 3Cempaka-ians were all laughing at us . . . FORTUNATELY , even though we strongly didn't deserve this...


*Me and Kavin were rushing up to take our pencil boxes for our KH test at the workshop for our first period*

Me:Run Kavin Run !
Kavin:Chill la ...
*Ms.Anne stops Kavin..."
Ms.Anne:Are you from 3Dahlia ?
Kavin:Oh yes.
Ms.Anne:I knew it , I recognized your face , do you all want to return to your old class?
Both of us : YES!
Ms.Anne: Tell your classmates to shift back down , thank you .

We got grace ! Unfortunately , as most of us took God's grace for granted , 3D did too . . .

Had another argument with Keith and Wei Han , it was about a spirit living in all the books , that's what THEY believed in , and yet they had the guts to scribble disgusting and naughty things on a plain exercise book , they were throwing it around arguing about who's bringing it back , it fell on the floor , and I gladly stepped on it...The reaction was :

WeiHan: YOU'RE GONNA BE STUPID NEXT TIME !
KEITH : YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN ANYTHING !
KAVIN : DON'T STEP ! GOT GOD INSIDE !

I mean seriously lah , I can respect your religion , but honestly , if there truly was a "GOD" inside every book , why on earth did you bother scribbling sick stuff on it ? What are you gonna crap up now ? The goddess of pornography ? Puh-leez

Later on , Wei Han and me argued ...

Me: The world had a creator lah...we didn't just poof into existence
WeiHan: But can you confirm whether that creator is Jesus anot ?! Not budhist . . .
Me: Did I even say...

That line got me pissed off and sad , what happened to my faith ? I sounded so agnostic ... Wei Han is getting on my nerves , he would be the kind that couldn't take any logical arguments , constructive criticism , or even , common sense .

I really wished that there would be an empty place in my classroom , so that I could go introvert , and ignore those bunch of monkeys . . .

You are stronger .

April's leg wasn't so bad after all , turns out , it was just a minor fracture I presume . So 3D didn't have to swap classes with them ! Anyway , I got more " I know who you like "s from MORE people . . . SIGH . I wish they'd be able to differentiate a crush and a "like" . . . Seriously , some people even have the guts to tell me " I know who you LOVE " Oh gosh . . . I'm struggling to even love those who first loved me... Speaking of first love , I had an encounter with mr.Sa-Tan today during class . It was so horrifying and disturbing beyond words . It's like , my mind was able to say "Jesus is my lord and savior , he died on the cross for me , and he loved me" But my heart , was just telling me the opposite . I really can't fight it , the first thing I did when I came back was to read his word , I flipped to Matthew and read about how Jesus was tempted . It kinda reminded me how important his word is to me too , as it's my only weapon against the Devil . I'm just so weak right now , both spiritually and mentally , and oh , physically too .

Well , forgetting about YOU is hard . . . But I'm glad that it's easier now .

Hey , anyone noticed how most of the "hot" girls seem to be all ugly inside ? No , seriously ? Everyone keeps saying to me :" Hey Declan ! Your sister dam hot weih..." I would seriously wish for them to see her through my eyes . . .

Everlasting , your light will shine when all else fails .

You know , even if my brother's and sister's in him fail me , look down on me , and discourage me , even if Satan keeps telling me of how bad I am . . . I still have HIM.

I doubted him , but I think I understand now when "From the inside out" played in my head . Everlasting , your light will shine when all else fails , never ending your glory goes beyond all tears . He shines , even when everyone else fails .

I'm sorry lord , I shouldn't have doubted you . . .


And besides , my other friends...Jeremy , Kevin , Hion etc. etc. They might not be the brightest of the bunch , they might not be the goodies of goodies , but hey , they're still the only people who dares to be honest with me . They're still my friends , and if anyone dares to mess with them . . .

I don't care , if my crush who is a Christian , hates me just because I'm having a crush on her , because honestly , you're "killing" me , just because of some natural reaction ? Puh-leez , who needs someone with this kinda mindset .

I don't care , if all the form 3's in Cf look down on me , just because I'm not in a "GOOD" class , who needs arrogant friends ?

I don't care , if people are gossiping about me , because honestly , the person who gossips , will eventually get it back...real hard .

Christians aren't meant to be arrogant ! The only thing that we can boast about about his grace . Nothing else .

I'm a time bomb waiting to be defused .

I injured my left knee at games today , I said the F*** word , which I did not ever use to insult or swear at anyone for a LONG LONG time , to swear when I was playing bball with Aaron and Wei Xian . . . Let's see...how could this get any worst ?

1.Apparently , I'm so stupid , ugly , retarded , mean , arrogant , hateful , judgmental etc. etc. , that I have no rights to have a crush on YOU , until the point where YOU get frustrated all because of this .

2.Cg isn't encouraging anymore , it's not them , it's just me . . .


All I hear these days are this : " Declan , you're such a retard , you're arrogant , hateful , judgmental , ugly , nerdy , stupid ... You don't even have real friends ! No one ever liked you , not even your friends . Your friends hates you , your family hates you , everyone does . "

How am I supposed to overcome this ? When all I see is truth in it .

I'm gonna start hating then , since it's seemingly the only way .I know , there IS another , but I do not have enough of everything to do it . . .

People , if you're still my "friend" even after reading this , please , if you know me well , you really ought to know that there is only ONE way to defuse me , all you have to do is to restore the SHIELD , however , I can't do it myself , and many people can't help me too , please , if you're gonna do it , be strong , I'm gonna apologize to you in advance , because I'm gonna say really hurtful things then . If you're gonna do it , please , make sure you're strong yourself , if not , I'm just gonna bring someone else down .

The time when I need you the most , I have just strayed too far away from you .

The other promise '

I just heard that SHE knows about my crush on her . Sighhh.... I suck at keeping my own secrets . More stuff had been added into my oh so jumbled up mind now . I should have stuck with Joseph's plan a longggg time ago. It's just oh so hard to find someone with the appearances of YOU with such a cute attitude with it , yes , I'm talking about YOU , the only person I really liked , and it wasn't just another crush , YOU were the first girl who was ever friendly to me , you were actually there to listen to my oh so annoying whining . However , you didn't know HIM . . . I should have told you about him... Sure , I don't " Like " you anymore , but you were still the only one . . .


I really don't know what to do right now , not only does the person whom I admire know about the crush , yet she despises me for it . . . Well , it's time to face the harsh reality . Should I just confess ? And get it all off my back , never ever talking to her again ?


Pn.Carol was talking about the armory of Christ yesterday , our main defense comes from our shield , which is the Shield Of Faith . Frankly , all these things happening to me... Depression , anxiety , weary , doubts....they're all weapons of the dark one , and if they hit me , that means my shield has been " Broken " , in other words , my faith is...Gone ? To tell you the truth , I'm backsliding , even if I force myself to read the 2 chapters of the new testament daily before I sleep . . . What's the best way to restore my faith ? Well , in this MMO which I've been recently playing , when you're shield receives and overwhelming amount of damage , it breaks , and you'll have to re-cast the shield skill to turn it on . When you're shield breaks , you're open , open to ANY attack , whether it's a mere sting , or a massive stun lock combo , you're defenseless , the only way you can get rescued is by...someone casting a buff on you , after that you're free to re cast you're shield...(I'm such a geek)

Taekwando .

We had Taekwando on the field today , we all got to SPAR ! My first free-sparring opponent was some Form 2 dude who really looked down on me , I threw massive amounts of random kicks at him , all he did was move back ... until we reached to the middle of the field . . . I injured my toe so bad there because I accidentally sent a left legged roundhouse to his elbow X.X .

Second partner , Nigel , this was the most ganas match ever ! Both of us were kicking like nobodies business , I hit him a few times on his ass and abdomen , a few stomach shots , he did the same , but our legs clashed quite abit . . .

Third partner , Thinesh's brother , Roshan , I got 4 clean hit on him... But mainly it was because I had the height advantage , one thing about today , was that I sparred with my SENIORS , since I was the only Yellow junior present . Btw , I PASSED , I'm yellow senior now . Yipeee.

you know , usually , crushes would distract you from your studies , but in my case , it's distracting me when I play FPS games , lame excuse huh ?


I'm getting really kiasu and arrogant these days . . . Mixing with the wrong people I guess . . .

Enemies !

I really LOVE enemies . Period . Somehow or rather , I always get into fights with my sister's friends , most of them have the exact same attitude as her , which seriously get me really pissed .

Had a mini explosion today when Keith and Kavindran wouldn't stop exposing my "weak spot" I warned them , they didn't listen , eventually used the duster and "dusted" their clothes , they starting throwing their tempers . . . Kevin and Thinesh acted as the lawyers , Wei Han tried to cool things down. . . It's just so stupid lah , I mean , you two have been treating me like shit ever since I got close to you guys , you're telling me that I have no tolerance ? Omegosh , If only they knew how much crap I had to put up with these two . I don't mind jokes , but seriously , Keith was just oh so stupid to understand the word " Stop it " . Seriously , I was like getting all the blame from all sides , Kevin and Thinesh thinks I'm immature , Wei Han thinks I'm a hypocrite...PEOPLE! I are human , I make mistakes , I explode too . Stop taking advantage of me kay ? Anyway , it was my fault too la , I shouldn't have used the duster . Although everything's fine now , I'm not gonna be going near Keith for a long long time until he grows up , seriously .

And to the 3 Mawar-ians , YOU PEOPLE , wanted to join us for football last week , although we weren't comfortable with that , but we still played for the fun of it . AND NOW , you people just wont stop bugging us about playing again today , treating it as some sort of premier league or something , seriously , 7 people asked me about football and the Sahara today ...Geez man , It was meant to be played among friends in an un-orderly basis , it's not some league where you people take advantage to show off your oh so l33t skills . And just because I wanted to go for Cf today , two particular idiotic Mawar-ians called be a wuss and said that I ffked them . . . How stupid can things get ?


Sorry people , I just had to vent some anger out today . . .


My FPS skills are going into the longkang . My Dota skills are nothing . . .

I'm a noob !


How I get treated in school :
Keith : Sibesen !@!#$!@$!@$!@(Vulgar slang of calling my name , it was done jokingly , but it was done on a daily basis , ard 10 times a day )
Me: *Ignores*
Kavin : You know arr , I play SA arr....................(starts saying some really unbelievable boast . . . )
Keith: Random offensive jokes on me
Dec : Jokes back
Keith & Kavin : Whacks Declan .

Cf time...

Me : Says some random stuff
ShengKi & Felix : uhh..haha
WaiYan : Let's all get together and pray for each other
*Form three's start to group up , except me*
Me : *Walks to Cj and his friend , prays with them *

You hear my cry !

I received a text from my mom a few minutes ago . My grandmother's swell subsided so that the Doctors could conduct the dialysis ! Thank you Lord . . .

I went for Cf today , it shrank ! As usual , I was trying to be friendly , but phail . Well , it's either that the encouragement director isn't very encouraging (my sis) OR , the ushers are just plain scary...

I think I'm gonna support the CF now , I hope I can...

It's all in your hands .

My mom just got a call from Kuching , my grandmother was able to be dialysis-ed , they miraculously found her artery to do it , bad news is , she has to do it again tomorrow , IF the doctors cant find the arteries , then ... The decision has been made , if the dialysis can't be performed tomorrow , they do not want to go for the more painful dialysis , and they would just ..... I will get news tomorrow , if things go bad , then I'm flying to Kuching tomorrow night .


GOD , It's all in your hands now , please lord , let her live ! But lord , if it's your will for her to go , then let your will be done lord . Lord , I pray that you give my family members strength if this happens , I pray that you would guarantee her salvation .

PLEASE , pray for her . If any of you makes fun of this , I won't talk to you ever . It's not a joking matter anymore , this is a matter of life and death . . .


"For my God is a god who gives...And takes away..."

Lord , you have showed many miracles during these trying times lord...I thank you .


I hardly know you grandma , I could hardly communicate to you since I didn't know Hokkien , but I knew deep down inside , you still loved me . I'm sorry that you had to suffer , I hope that you would be able to accept HIM as your lord and savior .

I have almost always been depressed...but no , not like this ... not like this at all....

Coke sucks '

I'm SO HYPER RIGHT NOWW .....ARRRRRRR! SPAMMING WEIRD PICKUP LINES IN PPLS CBOX , BEING UBER GAY , SPAMMING JOSEPHS. AHAHAHAHAHAH . SO HYPERRR...SCREW YOU COKEEEEEE

He speaks .

Today , as I was eating my daily dose of KoKoCrunch before going to school , I headed for the newspapers , suddenly , a book just appeared in between the SinChew daily , alas , it was an old comic of mine..."The Crusaders" Spellbound , it was one of the most scary-est christian books I have ever read in my life , but it holds alot of truth in it . I had two copies , one was called "SpellBound" (which I somehow just saw it today...strange..I didn't see it in years) and another was called "Angel of Light" (I never saw it again . I was 12 or 13 , I read it , that time when the Catholic church was like an ally to me , it talked about Lucifer , the satan , and occults , shockingly , the Roman Catholic Church , was listed under occult , I asked my father to take a look at it , he showed it to his Cg...and I never saw it again ) . I read it again , as it raised many many more questions in my head , hopefully , Ivan wouldn't mind taking a look at it and tell me what he thinks .

I lost my Pj clothes and my pants is stuck on top of the roof on the way up to 3C . . . All because I was stubborn and fearful .

Anyway , back to the topic , in this comic , they were talking about occults and rock music , about how real demons are . . . I'm so glad though , as fearful as I am , that Jesus died on that cross for me , that he gave his life for my freedom , and because he lives , I have the power to resist the evil one .

According to the book , every bible believing Christian holds the power to resist the dark one , no matter how great his presence is , but because of our modern day media and music , we don't know about this power . . .

Okay , in other words , being able to know that you had a skill in this RPG game , that could kill off any demons in the game , even though you're just a LvL 1 noob . But here's the catch , you're blinded in shiny armor and fancy skills , that you forgot which hotkey did you place that skill on , alas , getting pwned by the demons . (Gosh I'm geekish)

God rocks , seriously he does !

Just as I've started to get over you ....Here I go again .

Damaged guitar ! ? ?!

It's only a month old , and it has so many smudges on it , I already broke a string , AND AND . There's this tiny cut in the neck of it..... oh no....

A ticking time bomb , waiting to be defused .

None , 0 , of my friends ever saw me releasing my temper before , Joseph only heard me talk to him when I did . I hate collecting all this anger inside of me , it's just how stupid and childish some people would get , can't you people evaluate ? I'm already so freaking pissed off and confused , and you guys just won't give me a break . . . I'm just so tempted to take my guitar and bash it on the head of the next person who says " Declan , I know who you like !" Seriously . Wait , on the contrary , I wouldn't mind tossing a chair at you in school . Because you people seriously can't stop taking advantage of me , just because I look weak and innocent , doesn't mean I won't explode . But here's the thing , when you reach your boiling point and start being violent , some immature idiots would just do the same , never wanting to admit their fault , and then there would be a fight to the death...until someone stops the fight .

Seriously , I'm going to Cf this Friday , I won't mind storming out of it if I here someone utter that freakishly annoying sentence . I wish...I just wish...I had never met you . . . . . . . .

I can't focus on my mid-terms , I can't focus on anything ... I have so much to study . . . Yet I'm wasting my time venting my anger . . .

Okay...okay...chill...chill....What the buck la ! No one will ever understand me ..


I wasn't joking about the "Declan I know who you like" thing , you will seriously see the super bad side of me if you wont stop provoking me , idiots .

The paradox '

This is the paradox of our time , we have taller buildings but shorter tempers , we spend more but have less , we have bigger houses but have smaller families , we have more conveniences , but less time , we have more degrees , but loss our common sense ,we splitted the atom , not our prejudice , we applaud the design , but ignore the designer .


http://www.tangle.com/view_video.php?viewkey=5f90c87592730036073c


Full video .

It's so true , we have more , but gain less .

Anyway , I just found out who the "Stalker" was , it was indeed this guy called Darren Chow . I mean come on wei , who has been giving my number out so freely ah...I don't mind you giving out my number , but it just sucks when that fella tries to drive you off a cliff . . . ugh .

This is me .

I just got back from the last meeting of Interact before the AGM which is on June .

Okay , several things happened yesterday , that just made me really...dizzy .

First things first , this anonymous , texted me yesterday night , he says he wants to be my friend , and he got his number from this anonymous dude called Sheldon from SMK TTDI , strangely , I know of no one from that school .I also got an add in Msn from a guy called Devon , who got my address from a guy called Melvin Yong ?!

I think I've gotten over YOU , well , let's just say that SHE's ...well WE have alot in common . . . That's why I said , I hated myself . My eyes are opened to how hurtful my words are sometimes , and how annoying I can get with the things I say . Not to mention my arrogance . . .

Whoever who gave out my number and E-mail address ought to be shot on the hand ! What did I ever do to you ?!

Feeling . . .

I really wished that I wouldn't have been placed in 3Dahlia . But I guess he has his reasons right ? First , I have to eliminate the gossip-y part of me , then , start being serious in taekwando to eliminate all forms of physical threat =P .

Organization IV had been a pain in the butt . Considering how Wei Han just wouldn't change , how Keith would just go with the flow , and how Kavindran would be the crowd pleaser . It all started when 4 boys of 3Dahlia had nothing better to do than to whine about their daily lives and how bad they have been treated . . . .and viola , P.S. We're not a gang , just a group of kids , thinking of ourselves as outcasts . I'm the most "unwanted" one there , because I'm "boring" , and I spoil the "fun" .

Anyway , has anyone noticed how the Girls and Guys have been discriminating each other these days ?

Oh trust me , when it comes to the uber-childish topic of Battle of the sexes , I'm "Experienced" Especially when I have a sister who would go around bragging about how "perfect" Girls are compared to incompetent boys . According to her , Guys are cowards , perverts , monsters these days . . . And according to some friends , and myself in some descriptions , Girls are immature (NOT BY ME ! DONT COME AFTER ME DURING TAEKWANDO YUN LYNN! ) , violent (cheese , you got that right ) , plastic (know what this means !) , most of them are corrupted . . . Etc.

But let's just remember that God created Adam and Eve , not Adam and Steve ! (I know , that's a cliche when speaking to Gays , but it suits my case here . . . ) We are supposed to be equal ! I don't think God used Adam as a draft and said to himself after that :" I can do better than this..." Because he's perfect , he doesn't need a draft .

We all have our pro's and con's don't we ? The guys of our generation has to be more gentlemen (Like Joseph ! He's a real man , not like those "MAN" ly people who talk about sick stuff all day ) And girls , be more ladylike , and not be like guys . (GET IT ?! LOLS)

Boom !

Gah ! My body just cant take any caffeine , just because I drank 1/2 of diluted coke , I couldn't sleep till 12A.M. !

It was a really normal day , if you don't count how retarded some football-ers can get .

Oh yeah , I would like to clarify something . I DID NOT , I REPEAT , DID NOT , ASK ANYONE TO TALK TO MY CRUSH OR WHATSOEVER . The only reason why so many people are knowing about it is because one of my wonderful "friends" leaked it out . . . '


How long will I have to put up with the nonsense of 3Dahlia ? Oh wait , let's include 3Cempaka and 3Mawar . No one in Dahlia can be trusted anymore , everyone's definition of a good friend would be someone who is corrupted in mind , and if that means not having friends , I don't care , I shall try my best to maintain my "cleanliness". It's not that I'm "Holy" or something , I can get pre-tty corrupted sometimes , infact , I'm corrupting Joseph ! But PLEASE , GROW UP WEI , all you people ever talk about are about horny-ish stuff , and when I ask people not to talk about it , wow , Keith and Wei Han calls me "boring" for that .

I really have to refresh my mind here , the influence I'm getting by my peers are just phenomenal . . . It's partially my fault too , I'm supposed to have willpower , but.......sigh .

When everything tears apart , when friendships fail . . . I lift my eyes upon the hills , where does my help come from ? My help comes from the lord , the maker of heaven and earth .

My soul cries out ' Set me free .

I rarely take back what I say , but this...is just too much . I'm sorry to ms.HER for what I just said . But please , to those idiots who are backstabbing me , you will never earn my trust again , I might be able to forgive , but don't count on me to forget . Alot of supernatural stuff has been happening around my house now of days . . .

Anyway , I'm off to tuition . I'll post more tomorrow .

Lifted on high from death to life . . .

Hi readers , I just got back from Church ! Why do I sound so joyful ? Because I think the Crush is dying ! Not that SHE's dying , but the stupid infatuation that's distracting me so much and causing me confusion . It's still there , but I'm starting to get over it !


Crushes . . . Almost everybody has them , the truth about crushes though , is that it ALWAYS hurts (inside joke =D ) . We keep thinking whether that person who we're crushing on is the "ONE" but it just ends up dying and then we fall for someone else , and the cycle repeats itself until we really find someone .

We'll , I forgot which preacher said this , but if we make a list of what to expect in that special person promised by HIM , and ignore all the other minor crushes . In the end though , you have to understand that nobody is perfect , and you have to expect flaws in that special person .

Here's my "List" :
-God-loving (loving him kao kao , more than me )
-Non-polluted mind (We all know how corrupted girls are these days . . . )
-Kind personality
-Tolerant( to tolerate all the crap I say sometimes . . )
-Intelligent
-Loyal
-Cute/pretty ! ( The soft spot for cute-ness...oh no...)


Well , it's gonna be hard finding someone like this , but it's just to make sure I don't get distracted by them crushes again . Anyway , we shouldn't look for the right person , we have to BE the right person . Ps. Julie said that .

Here I am .

I was enjoying my Cabal session with Wei Han earlier on , I had 3 hours to play without any form of interruption . I ordered my Pizza and... A phone call comes , my Aunt wanted to come over to my house and Skype with the other members of the family from all across Malaysia and Singapore . It was an emergency regarding my Grandmother in Kuching's situation . I was pissed at first , they were talking , I was practicing "Ode To Joy" on my guitar and studying for my Maths examination coming up . Then my Aunt called me to the computer , with the Webcam on . It was a video conference between us and the family house at Kuching , the annoying little cousin Sam was there. I saw my really ill Grandmother . . She sat on the wheel chair , with one arm really swollen up and red , unable to go for dialysis when she really needed it , instead , all the family members had to make a decision whether to send her for an alternative Dialysis which will hurt much more . . . Or wait for the swollen-ness to heal . They chose to pray and wait for one week . She was so weak . . . She vomited blood earlier this week . . . She's 82 years old this year . And yet . . . Little Sam JUST HAD TO get hyper when everyone is so emotional and sad , she just starts screaming and shouting and saying random stuff at the sight of me , I can't blame her though . . .She's just five . . Though I wished they would give her more discipline . . . ANYWAY , my aunts were conferencing on Skype...They were trying to come up with a conclusion for my Grandmother . . . I wish I could have said it right . . . If It's his will to take her , she has to go . . . I'm not emotional right now , of cause I'm down . . . But not so bad . I still have to break the news to my father , I'd expect him to cry . I can't blame him , he loves his mother so much ... And I ?


All I can do now is pray for her . Several miracles had already occurred during the ordeal , I just hope that more will come , and that she will gain Salvation .


Please , I'm not forcing you to , but please , pray for her . I only see her once a year . . . I can't communicate with her much . But she's still my grandmother , she raised 12 children , she gave me the biggest ang pao every year . . .

The unfulfilled desire .

I'm just feeling so confused these days , whether it's because of the crush , whether it's because of the explosive amounts of homework and projects . . .I really don't know . Here I am at my computer , being able to do anything I want on it , of course , with rationality . I've always been longing for this moment during the weekdays , but now , there's just something not filled inside of me...

Maybe SHE likes me back too , sure , the chances of that are quite slim...Oh who am I kidding , that would never happen . ANYWAY , IF that happens , how would I feel ? Like the computer ? Longing for something , and getting it in the end , yet feel unsatisfied with it ? Gosh this sucks .


A few things are on my mind right now . Obviously , SHE can't get out of my head , my PMR examination and all the projects . . . It's not that I'm uber depressed like last time , it's just that there's too many things on my mind right now to think about anything!


I don't believe that I skipped CG for this , CG is really encouraging...not at the moment though . Poor Ivan , who knows how much pain he's gone through , and yet he tries his best to be a good example to us , the kids .



Infatuations suck , it's like you know how a super sad movies is gonna end , and yet you secretly hope that there would be a twist in the story...

Sister's birthday lunch at Zipangu .

I woke up at 8:30 today , because there isn't any Taekwando trainings today . Performed my average morning routine . . .And Jumped straight into doing my Chinese Caligraphy work . Me , my sister and my mom went to Shangri La to meet up with my father who is attending a HELP university seminar there , we ate at this place called Zipangu . It was okay la... Not much to choose from though .

Well , Happy birthday sis . You're 17 now , PLEASE , grow up .

I might not go for CellGroup today . I'm just soo tired . . .

Jesus VS Devils for us ?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ho9AGLH8tLc&feature=channel_page


Excellently choreographed . . .

Meaningful goosebumps '

I have been video surfing today , and I found some interesting videos that really touching videos...





I still have so much to do . . . I passed up my KH and Chinese work half done . . . Oh man...

Lifehouse - Everything .

Many of you have probably heard of this skit . It was originally performed during Winterfest at Knoxville . Many cried , I myself felt a massive goosebump during the climax .

What most of you may not have known is that the girl in the skit was depicting US , the youth . Maybe I'm wrong , but that's how I see it , we started out as kids , enjoying our time with our God and Saviour , our best friend , then sin comes . . .

Here's the SSGC/Agape rendition of the skit :


You can spot a few SMKTS-ians in there too .

Being a part of all the gossips '

My sister just came back from Cf today . . . She started telling me how the Cf people knew about my crush thingy , even she knew . Well , I don't know what to say lah . I just LOVE the CF so much . . . If you can't spot the sarcasm there , don't bother reading on .

I don't think anyone can be trusted anymore . Especially someone who calls himself your "Best Friend" . Well , I can say that I deserved it , because . . . I gossiped about others too . . . I guess I know how they feel now . Last week just got me numbed to depression . . . It's just emptiness flowing within me now . Oh well . Guitar time . Wish me luck in walking .

Rants Rants Rants

Football was just horrible . It was meant to be a nice and friendly game between us friends , but nooo...some people just had to invite the uninvited . Sure , it's a public field , they can come if they want to , but we brought the equipment , and what's worst is that they act like friggin gangsters , thinking that everything belongs to them . Me , Thinesh and Kavin compromised , tried to tolerate Eugene's arrogance , Julian and lit how's colorful language . . . Keith and Wei Han didn't they just quit .

Anyway , earlier on , me and Eu Liang had to go for a poetry reciting contest . I got owned . Big time . Imagine not being able to recite without your script , while everyone else had no problem doing so . Trying to memorize it in the last minute was impossible , and expressing myself was hard , as I wasn't depressed anymore , and that poem was really depressing . To make matters worst , SHE was there . . . Angsana's Meredith had a super strong British accent , Bunga Raya's Basilia had a really cute poem which impressed Pn.Ernice , Cempaka's Samantha did everything fluently without mistakes , Dahlia's Declan had to read the poem from a piece of paper , and stammered , Kemboja's Jeremy did a very wonderful job expressing himself for his poem . . . Geez . . .

Later on , Sejarah test results , I got 28/35 . It's the 3rd highest in the class , why am I unhappy about it ? Because I got owned by Yuen Hung . . . Lol .

I have to walk all the way to Mighty Music (creative rhythm) which is located above Murni , with an injured foot , and a guitar on my back . Great .


I may never understand you , just one more characteristic to be filled and I'm in "Like" .

I got owned ;

Going for football at Sahara later ,will blog about the title afterward .


Girls are just so hard to understand , and we actually thought we can outsmart their creator . . . .

Of stresses and burdens .

Projects- Sivik , Geography and Sejarah , this is just torture , I haven't even started taking pictures with Kavin for or Siviks , while I barely started the other two .

Homeworks- I might have to take a day off cell group this Saturday , my sister is having a birthday lunch , therefore I'm forced to go . I'm gonna use that time to do my 40-paged overdue Chinese caligraphy homework !

Mid-Terms-I really have to study for it , I have been . But I'm not done revising on my Form 1's and 2's . I have to achieve at least 4 A's in the mid-terms . . .

Guitar- Phail . I have lessons tomorrow and I haven't practiced my 5th and 6th strings.

Crushes- I shouldn't be worrying about this ! And yet I am . . . I don't even dare to say Hi now . . .

Self-Esteem- Is going really low now , especially since I got on the nerves of several teachers , and sometimes I get scolding for being naive !

Sigh...

I like pie .

Another randomizer day at school today . Again , I got another stab in the back by XXXXXX , I'm used to it , don't worry . Just a word of advice , Only your best friends can be trusted . . . Your close friends might not be .

I knocked into HER* TWICE , in 20 seconds . LOL . Having a crush had never been so depressing . . . It's like she's mad at me or something , when I barely even know her , obviously I want to , but there's where the LSE kicks in . . .

I'm sick of making a fool out of myself . I almost got rammed by a car yesterday when crossing the road from EduSmart with Danush and Gavin because of my random hyper-ness . Mahish did some idiotic stuff again . . .

The LaLa's strike back !

Disclaimer : Offensive content !

Well , as the most of you might have known , LaLa people are seriously not my type . My definition of LaLa :- Mainly Chinese speaking , SUPERRRR Lack of attention , ThEiYx TyPiex Lieeks Thix , filled with arrogance , over dressed . . . the list goes on and on...

I'm somehow used to them now ... UNTIL today . 80% of the girls in my class are LaLa , and 50% of the guys are too . . . First of all , KOH YI VEN , a 16 year old girl who went for remove classes after the PMR examination , who has a tongue piercing , who everyone seriously dislikes , and failed all her subjects . THINKS THAT I LIKE HER ?! Maybe not ... But the thought of it just creepy-fies me . Wait , did I mention that she tried comparing results with Kavindran ? The person who almost got all A's in everything ? Then there's the LaLa's thinking that they can be at the top of the class...Bee Suan was somehow...boasting , about her Science results...I got offended (You know me...) Then teacher marked my paper , I purposedly
said this out loud :" Hah! Highest in the class" . . . Then I got scolding by the classes LaLa guy gang... Okay Okay , I was arrogant...I usually boast back to people who boast to me . . . And come on , some of them are comparing their CHINESE marks with me . . . I'm like :- Wanna compare with my other subjects ?! " Gosh... Then there are the LaLa's who are humble . Like Keith , he's a LaLa...But he isn't hated by everyone . . .


Or maybe I'm just stereotyping . . .discriminating...


Anyway , It was an OK day today . . . Not too good not too bad , but every day is a gift right ? =D . Again , I saw HER . . . I have no idea why I am so shy to approach her in real life . . .


Oh , and to Agent X : Whoever you are , spamming me wont do a thing .

Protestant ?

Joseph passed me two separate prints of papers . One regarding the beliefs of the Baptist , another (the WAYYYYY thicker one ) about the beliefs of the Catholics .

It's filled with bombastic English . So I'm going to have to take some time checking the dictionary . . . What's penance ? ? ? What's a sacrament ? ? ?

Extravagant '

My sister REALLY thinks that an 18 year old girl could have all the freedom she wants , she thinks that she could just drive out and hang out with her friends at night without a limit . Gosh ... This is an example of how strong the influence of Chick flicks are on the mentally challenged .



I had dinner with the relatives earlier on , we left for KL with my grandmother(mother's side) in the car to the Overseas restaurant .... (Which I seriously dislike ) I got to meet my two young cousins ! Kaelyn and Nathan . They somehow resemble my other two young cousins back at Kuching , Ethan and Samantha . I'm so confused over their names .... lol . Kaelyn hangs out with my sister , my "Aunty" who is just 20 years old and my relatives long term maid's daughter (family friend ) . Nathan is just so cuteee....he looks like a korean dude . Ethan on the other hand , gets sick often , but is incredibly cute ! As for Samantha...You can ask any of my relatives who went back to Kuching with me or are in Kuching of how stuck she is on me , I couldn't sleep , eat , or do anything in peace . GAH . And when I tried being firm with her....SHE BIT ME ! My grandfather said I was really tolerant before I left ... LOL

When everything starts to fall apart .

God never let's me down . The sermon today is somehow relevant to what I'm going through right now .

Well , the apathy is still there , the broken friendships are still here ... But I know it's being fixed .

All my discouragements , my delusions ...are all weapons of the enemy , I was the one who let my guard down , thus getting hit by all this . Not him , for God is not the author of confusion . . .

Day by day , my faith grows thinner , my doubts grew . . . But the tiny flame still burning within me is always the strongest ...

I'm really sorry Joseph , you were the only friend I had who could understand me , who bothered to listen to my whining , who tried so hard to encourage me . But I let you down , when you broke down , I added oil into the fire . I'm so sorry...

I'm so sorry Sabrina , for teasing you that day , for acting like an arrogant snob to you . Thank you too , for giving me a hard knock on my head yesterday .

I know that I've hurt many more people in my depression . I'm sorry too .

Had brunch with the Youth in McD's just now . Then the Catholic thing was brought up...Turns out that one of HueyWern's friends attended SIC , a catholic church . She was mad and was like :"WTH?! I told her not to believe in all this..." Her friend who was her "sheep" told her that she saw something new in this church . . . For once , I somehow defended the Catholic church , and it's not just because that's the same church which the girl who I'm having a crush on is there...(How many more clues to you guys need ?!) Well , I told HueyWern to check out Romans 14... But one thing my Catholic friends did not tell me is that we share a different bible . . .HueyLin objected ... Well . . . Romans 14 guys...

Sam , if you're reading this , I'm sorry .

Blame it all on me '

Sometimes I really feel like committing suicide . Seriously , I hate myself and everything around me so bad suddenly . . . What happened to that joy in my heart after camp ? What happened to all the friends that I've made ? What happened to me ?!

being humble used to be something easy for me , but now , I'm some arrogant bitch . . .


To make matters worst , my best friend , the one who was always there...is gone .



Well , many of you want to see how a depressed me looks like right ? Well then you shall .

Blogs are for self-expression .

- - - Fear's and failures .

My grandmother in Kuching vomited blood earlier on . Please pray for her .


I just made my sister cry just now , to get her off the computer .


I made JoJo discouraged...


I almost cried when I was watching the passion of the Christ when Jesus got nailed onto the cross and cried out :"Father , forgive them.."


The apathy is still here. . . I still haven't saw what I'm supposed to see .


I definitely don't think that I've suffered a lot lately , after seeing how Jesus carried his cross up to the Place of Skulls . As if having lots of cuts and grazes on your body with your blood bleeding out slowly but surely isn't enough , Jesus was insulted , kicked , stepped on , whipped spat on...That my friends , is the real price of our freedom .

I got blisters on my first and second fingers (Guitar-wise)

I came online RIGHT before she went offline...

I almost bricked Jun Hao's psp . . .

We we're shoo-ed out of the church as the elders were going to attend a wedding dinner . After that , me , Ben , Nick and Jun Hao walked in the slight rain towards the Sahara field...then it poured . We took 30 minutes to reach our destination....Secret Recipe .

If you haven't noticed ,I've been really apathetic in my posts lately ...

I'm not even gonna talk about the argument between me and my sister earlier on which ended up with her crying .

Majesty '

I'm blind , open my eyes wider .

Saturday school was boring . Sigh , I caught a cold which took away my mood for Cell today .

I'm so empty . I feel so useless , I feel like nothing . But it's his grace that has found me just as I am . . .

So many projects , homeworks , yet so little time . . .

Should I go ? We're gonna have communion and a clip from Mel Gibson's the passion of the Christ . You know what , even though I'm sick , I'm gonna go . I don't want to accept the fact that all these troubles have no way around it . . . There's gotta be something . . .

A week of unfortunate events '

The following took place during the past week . . .
1)The PHAILure of my BM
2)Being called a backstabber
3)Being backstabbed
4)Gossiped too much
5)Became a part of the gossips which took place in 3Cempaka
6)Tried to forget HER ... Tried to overcome this infatuation...Failed .
7)My secret leaked out . . .
8)Fought with Sabrina
9)Fought with DiWern and had no regrets
10)Became bitchy to Joseph .
11)Failed Joseph .
12)Exploded on Huey Lin and Huey Wern on Facebook .
13)Lost many friends .
14)Broke my guitar string
15)Slowest internet connection...
16)Got targeted by teacher.More than once .
17)More pimples...
18)Got labelled as a Gay on Andrew's blog
19)Loss respect for many
20)Lost respect from many .
21)Saw my barnabas and only friend who was really really there during troubled times fall...


Sigh . . . What are you trying to tell me ? Clear the fog o lord.

The pieces are finally fitting together .

The reason for my "suffering" is really starting to come up . Slowly but surely , I know that he's telling me something . . . Who cares lar , If YunLynn has been talking about me behind my back , it's her mouth not mine . The reason for my failures academic-wise ? My arrogance and my laziness . Not alcohol . =D . See , I smiled .

Anyway .


JoJo , I know this sounds self-seeking and selfish or whatever . But , your situation really showed me something . . .


Di Wern , Yes , I'm mad at you . The fact that you always think that everything will be okay as long as you have your friends by your side is just disturbing , I'm not the only one who spotted a change in you .

Good friday '

Cf easter special at the hall today , the turn up was okay...I saw the crush with the ushers(I know I'm supposed to forget about her ...but.) The ushers are at their usual stuff...Giving people a scary feeling rather than a welcoming one... I emo-ed in the hall when everyone else was getting ready . . Everything else was okay...Not really pleasing to the humans because the PA system in our school isn't that good...But I bet HE loved it if we really poured our hearts into it .

Unfortunately... One of my strings snapped for my guitar . Sigh .. . A week of unfortunate events...Whatever could all these mean ?

Test video .

Testing my Digital Camera's recording capabilities . And no , I haven't calmed down .





Disclaimer : It's pure test , no editing involved , no props , no nothing . Raw footage from my 8.1mp camera . 30Fps .

Wonderful friends .

As if all my troubles isn't enough , MORE gossips about me are reaching my ears from 3C . It seems that HONG WEI and YUN LYNN has been talking about me behind my back . Gosh la , I'm so pissed this week , and people just LOVE to pour oil into the fire .

I've just lost mood in everything . I feel like...nothing . I'm sorrowful ...
I don't think I should trust people . . . During the happy times , they're always there to share your joy , but when sorrow strikes , they all leave... Only a handful are there for you , and for me , a handful is one .

SMK Taman SEA sucks . Sure , we're disciplined , we're "HIGH" achievers , so what ?! It's filled with backstabbers , Cf ? After camp , everyone just isn't friendly anymore...Everyone(including me) are just sliding back into our old selves , and we're supposed to be the light...

Fine la fine la , secrets out , tell all you want , GO! Since you people really want to get even with me for what I did in form one ... Do it ! Tell the world who I'm crushing on ! I honestly won't give a damn anymore . Yes , I know that she will feel offended to have someone like me crushing on someone like her , but just do it ! Another enemy ? OH WOW! With friends like these , who needs enemies ? So what ? If I get unwelcomed to Cf because of her ?! You people are just pricks . There you go! Tell ! Try your best to ruin my life ! Afterall , I'm some useless nerd who everyone hates .

~Declan , angry , depressed , sorrowful .

Ground rules '

After yesterday , I figured that I have to lay down some rules for my everyday life .

1.No gossiping . I asked Gavin and Kavin to slap me if they hear me gossiping . You know how much it kills .
2.No lame jokes on kids . Kids weren't meant to take lame jokes . . . I know I'm one , but I know a joke when I hear one , unfortunately , some people don't . Even if it's an obvious joke .
3.No sharing until I fixed myself to be a good example . . .
4.Try my best to forget about HER . She's taken , by a good friend of mine .

Is my face that "Yong Sui" Pn Teh and Pn Chin really loves to pick on me , I got scolding so bad because I didn't do some Chinese homework more than other people who did worst somehow...Pn Chin says she's giving me constructive criticism when it comes to maths . . . She can somehow hear me whispering to Kavin but can't hear Keen Fai and his gang shouting about at the back... how interesting . . .

Yesterday I was chatting with SOMEONE on msn with my phone , and guess what , he was the 5th guy I knew who had a crush on HER too . Luckily I didn't tell him that I was one of them , since she likes him too...Oh well , he is a nice guy...

And to the two cousins who one I made mad , and to another mad me mad . Well , I'm just gonna show you two the bad side of me kay ? I tried being friendly , but noo...One's becoming a plastic , and one can't take a joke , thinking that she has gone through more than me , when she's only one year younger than me . . . puhleez.

I asked for all this . I prayed :"God , open my eyes!" . And it was opened . I can finally see how much pain that I've inflicted on people ... how much my prejudice has hurt....I bet that I'm gonna see more...

Troubles and depressions ' You will always get what you deserve , anything else is Grace .

I'm speechless la . Streamyx keeps disconnecting . GAH . Anyway , I'm extremely mad right now . Some people really suck at being constructive in their criticism . Again , I'm disappointed in myself , the habit of gossiping is back . Well , I got what I deserved . A huge amount of criticism , a huge amount of untrustworthy flames . . . Then there's the....God won't be there for you everytime....And I just told my grandmother to shut up . GOSH , THE ANGER .


There are three causes :
1) Bitching Streamyx being bitching slow and disconnects when I really need to go online .
2)People who really have 2 freaking faces .
3)Stupid rumors going around in 3Cempaka .
4)Being labeled as "Haven't paid" even though I remember paying .
5)EVERYBODY knows who I like now . There's no point keeping it a secret anymore . IT'S NOT PHEI FERN , IT'S NOT MONICA . GOSH . THEY'RE SO NOT MY TYPE .

I REALLY CAN'T TAKE IT . Worst part . NONE of my friends are ever on my side , whenever things go wrong , they run .


Why is nobody there in my moments of weakness ? Why can't I erase the "gossiping housewife"


Pickup lines (Randomness)
Are you an alien ? Cause you abducted my heart !
Do you have a map ? Because I just keep getting lost in your eyes !
I must be a snowflake , cause I've fallen for you !
Do you have bandaid ? Because I just scraped my leg falling for you.
I'm sorry , were you talking to me ? Girl : no . You : Okay , let's start !
If you were a booger , I'd pick you first
Hi , I'm MrRight , someone said you were looking for me
I was blinded by your beauty , so I'm going to need your name and number for insurance reasons
Do you have a sunburn ? Or are you always this hot ?
Was that an earthquake or did you just rock my world ?
Are your legs tired , cause you've been running through my mind all day long .

Screw screw and screwer .

Rough day today , GOSH , I remember so well paying for my Interact club T-shirt and vest which totals up to RM55 . Yet today , my name was clean without any checks when I was asked to pay those fees . Strangely , only two people in my class paid for it , when I remembered many more did too . As if that wasn't causing my temper to rise , Jivita told me that a rumor was going around in 3C which talks about me liking Phei Fern ... COME ON LA , I BARELY KNOW HER . WTH .

A word to the easily offended .

HOW WOULD I KNOW THAT IT WAS A FUNNY JOKE , it sounded so wrong....and then it turned out to be a joke . I'm getting the blame for everything , whats up with that wei .

Pwnage '

It was a rather normal day today . Had KH , we had to solder our electronic project , which wasn't really pleasant for me since I accidentally burnt my hand . . .

Had the usual classes...Got my BM monthly results back , gosh I really suck . I got beaten by LOO YEE AND FWEI SWEN . I really have to get my top 5 position for the mid-terms . Sigh . Wei Han relived form 2 when he made those "taufu" shurikens in class , and I started throwing them , one landed on the car hood of this lady , I waved my hand at her signifying an apology , she smiled back and nothing happened .


I really have to study , I just need more motivation and pushing !

Oh yeah , testimony time !

Yesterday while I was reading a book titled "You're more than you think" by Patrick Ondrey . I was reading about identity crisis's and I came upon apart where it wrote :
Confusion is linked to evil , and evil is not God . It asked me to pray if I was confused , the prayer of David in Psalms 71:1,2 . After that , I washed my face and prepared to do my quiet time by reading two random chapters of the new testament . I flipped around looking for a chapter to read...And viola , I came across Romans 14 . Which settled one of my confusions regarding denominations , example of denominations : Baptist , Methodist , Calvinist(?) , Catholic etc. etc. ...

The gossiping has to stop .

I gossiped today , too much . It has to stop , this dirty habit of mine .

ANYWAY...HAPPY BIRTHDAY GAVIN NG JOON WAI ! (April 8th)

This easter '

Approximately 2000 years ago today , Jesus rode a donkey and entered Jerusalem .

It's Good Friday this Friday , it's not the day of Easter bunnies or eggs . . . It's the day in remembrance of his grace and agape love .

My mission this Easter , love a LaLa . I know , you're hearing this from a guy who totally despised the LaLa's , and even despised the Cf . But here's something that's still stuck inside my head after camp , without Love , you are nothing . Even if I had all the knowledge...Without Love...I have nothing...Even if I preach the gospel to everyone , and try to be as holy as I can get , and I have no Love and don't love , I am nothing .
Let's take up this challenge shall we ? Especially to my friends who attended Cf Camp .


Jesus did this :

So that we might live , and not die . (not speaking about bodily death )


God bless people !





-Victor , Jeremy , Daniel Thong , Wei Han and Kavin , I know that you're completely pissed off at my preachy attitude , and especially at times when I don't "Practice what I preach" . I'm sorry , I'm just too arrogant at times . Wei Han , I hope that one day you would understand . I wasn't preaching , I was being like the pharisees and Levites during the time of Jesus .

-Jeremy , You're not fat , You have a purpose to live , and someone does love you , just open your eyes wider , don't just think of a girl who did something really bad to you ...

-You , yes YOU , YCHS It's your initials , arranged by a retard like me . Crushing on you has been hard , it's not something I wanted , I know that people like you would blame someone for crushing on them , so well , if that's your mentality , then so be it , I'm sorry .

-Other people , PMR is coming , let's be ready shall we ?!

New layout suggestions ?

My current one is kinda plain . . . I'm planning on designing my own banner now . Any other suggestions ?

Horrific day '

My internet was down today , I contacted Streamyx myself . It took them 1 and a half hour to tell me one thing " Wrong password " Gosh...

Had lunch at mcD with Ben today after church , was later on joined by Joseph .




You know , I can't help but to think about HER . . .


Okay , I don't think you're really that much of a snob , sure , you're flaws are obvious , but I doubt that it's just your looks that has attracted me . If only I could get to know you more . . . You've smiled at me a couple of times , and yes , it's very pleasant .



We had a special speaker today , he's England was the most powderful ever , but was understandable , the reason for his England being Powderful is also the reason why he was very very very special to me .

Sorry people for coughing so much in Church...couldn't help it .

Of troubles and depressions '

Cell was uber depressing today , need I say more ? No , it wasn't because of Ben Kit , it wasn't because of the Ambactus , contrary to that , Ambactus is the only thing that makes me feel...welcomed ?

Cliches really kill churches , CbC used to be so friendly when I first entered , unfortunately , cliches are starting to develop , and no , I'm not being over-sensitive , even Cj realized .


Went to eat at kayu , as if the depression wasn't enough , I had a "DejaVu" argument with Ian in the SAME EXACT PLACE about the SAME EXACT TOPIC that I had with my family and relatives .

I dare not post about other angry stuff that happened during the day...or night.


Racism has always been an issue , I hate being discriminated by Angmohs just because I'm an Asian , to think if I would to do the same to other races would just be ironic .



Why cant I stop thinking about you ?
I barely know you , I barely ever talk to you , I think that you're such a snob , yet...why on earth do I like you ?

Taekwando Grading day .

Taekwando started at 7:30 Malaysian timing today , why did I mention Malaysian timing ? Because everyone only arrived at around 7 45 , only me and a couple of people came "on time " . Me and a Form 4 yellow one student decided to join David and Jonathan in sweeping the court . We then headed to warm up with Danush and his blue belts . The examiner later arrived , and I was already tired . I screwed up the last punch of Taegeuk one , and a Side-Side kick . Hope that doesn't affect my passing marks . . . Trained for Taegeuk 2 later on , was too tired to do much .


I do hope I pass .

CellGroup later on , sleeping awhile first . Oh and on another note , can someone please remind me to do my Maths homework ? Got too many things on my mind right now .

The Lag .

Facing internet issues lately ? Unable to access Facebook at your usual speed ? Disconnected often ? Unable to download files from certain web pages ? Here's why .


31/03/2009
SERVICE INTERRUPTION

Dear Valued Customers,

Telekom Malaysia Berhad (TM) wishes to announce that there is a disruption of its Internet services due to circuit faults on the SMW3 between Tuas, Singapore and Penang linking Malaysia to Hong Kong and APCN2 near Chongming, China connecting Malaysia to the United States. As a result, customers using the Internet services may experience slow browsing while accessing websites hosted in the U.S. and Hong Kong.

In addition, customers using other IP services such as Virtual Private Network (VPN) and other critical business applications linked to the U.S. and Hong Kong may also experience some service degradation.

To alleviate the problem, some of the links have been rerouted to alternate routes to ease the congestion.

Restoration works on the affected cables are already in progress. However, during the restoration process, traffic to Northern America and Hong Kong may experience degradation. However, traffic to other countries will not be affected. TM expects complete recovery of its services by 5 April 2009 and will make further announcements on the progress of the restoration works.

TM wishes to assure its customers that it is undertaking all necessary measures to restore communications services for its customers as soon as possible.
Customers can call TM at 100 and select “Internet Services” or e-mail us at help@tm.com.my for any Internet related problems.


Thank You.


Source : http://streamyx.com.my/whats_new/whats_new.php?id=article_20090331


OH FINALLY , they gave us a reason so that we can understand , rather than the usual " Kamu punya modem ada issue "

Tomorrow is grading day , I hope that I can get my Taegeuk right... Or else its RM40 down the drain .

First guitar lessons '

I got pwned . Was expecting more of Chord-ish stuffs , turned out starting with tabs . My plucking sucks .

STREAMYX !

Sigh....STOP DISCONNECTING ALREADY !

Post '

My first guitar lessons is postponed by a few hours...Some emergency came up for the teacher so he called me .

Skipped Norlia's class when I was called to bring some guys out for the charades competition . Dahlia got owned by Angsana... 4-1 . LOOL .


"HOW DID EVERYONE KNOW ! " Wow.

Confusion .

The Lord has really done so much for me , after 2 days , I can say that my anger has been calmed...One that usually lasts for weeks .

The confusion has really took it's toll . I'm so open to so many temptations now , and I just couldn't care less anymore . The Child-side of me is fighting with the Teen-side of me , one part of me tells me to be humble , another tells me that I have the right to be arrogant , one part tells me to share the gospel , one part tells me to do it for the sake of doing it .

I recently screwed up when sharing with my friends again...Things get bad...Especially when you're friend has a 7 year old mentality with lots of bad influence and can twist the words you say to other people to make it seem so bad...

Photoshoot was okay , I did a bimbo pose for freestyle ! My guitar (I'm not naming it Declina!) is so out of tune...I can't wait for my first lesson tomorrow ! SHE is slowly fading away in my head ... Hmmm .

I got in a miniature fight with Kavindran today because he somehow laughed at my answer which I selected in my English Test , and yet when I told him at the end of the test about the reasons for my answer , telling him not to change it anyway , he still changed it , and insisted that he changed it by his own will .